Fort Worth's Bearded Lady Stuffs Her Texas Twinkie Jalapeños With Pulled Pork

Texas cuisine is so tempting it is a wonder, to me, more Texans do not have a weight problem.

For instance, six or seven times a week Mildred Halbert's parental units have a feeding at one of the many Dallas/Fort Worth food purveyors.

Usually when Mildred Halbert's parental units have one of their ubiquitous feedings they document the occasion on Facebook, such as what you see here.

A delicacy known as "Texas Twinkies" which Mildred Halbert's parental units enjoyed yesterday at a Fort Worth feeding establishment called The Bearded Lady.

I used to know a lady known as The Fat Lady who was a real good cook. Best cookies ever. I have never known a lady known as The Bearded Lady who is a good cook.

We learn about "Texas Twinkies" when Mildred Halbert's paternal parental unit describes the Bearded Lady lunch as....

 "Havin' a few Texas Twinkies for lunch! (bacon wrapped, pulled pork stuffed in jalapeños covered with pineapple chutney) #GonnaMakeYourTongueSlapYourBrainsOut#TheLadyBraidsHerBeard.

I don't get that hashtag thing one sees all over, but in this case I think it relates to the line at the top where Mildred Halbert's paternal parental unit says "feeling tongue slapped at The Bearded Lady."

I have never been to The Bearded Lady. I don't know where in Fort Worth this feeding establishment is located.

For years Elsie Hotpepper and her co-hort, Mary Not Contrary, have been saying they are going to take me out to lunch. But, they never do.

Maybe someday Elsie and Mary will take me to The Bearded Lady for Texas Twinkies.....

The Bearded Lady's Coffee & Donut Burger With Mildred's Papa

A year or two ago, maybe three, I acquired yet one more Facebook friend who I do not actually know.

Mildred's Papa.

Mildred's Papa and Mama travel the country watching baseball games, enjoying lunch and dinner in exotic locations.

But none that I made note of while on the road are as exotic as those Mildred's Papa and Mama frequent whilst they are in their home zone of Fort Worth and its environs.

Mildred's Papa and Mama post selfie photos on Facebook documenting their attendance at various baseball games in various locations along with documenting, via the selfie method, what was had for lunch and dinner.

Such as yesterday's lunch at the Bearded Lady in Fort Worth where the above was had for lunch. A delicious looking Bearded Lady Burger of the Week Coffee and Donut Burger.

The description of the Coffee and Donut Burger below, gleaned from Mildred's Papa's Facebook entry and confirmed on the Bearded Lady Facebook page....

Lunch today! Burger of the Week: Coffee and Donut Burger! Ground Beef Patty stuffed with Blackberry Cream Cheese topped with Cheddar, AVOCA Coffee Glazed Bacon, Caramelized Onions, Candied Pecans on a Paul's Donut's Glazed Donut Bun!

I read the above description of the Coffee and Donut Burger and then made the following comment to Mildred's Papa's Bearded Lady Facebook post...

You and your lovely wife really need to write a How To book explaining how it is you two manage to eat that which you eat and yet remain such svelte figures of fitness.....

The Bearded Lady Facebook page's photo of their Burger of the Week did not look as tasty as Mildred's Papa's photo of the Coffee and Donut Burger.

I like a donut once or twice a decade. Bacon is tasty every once in awhile. I don't think coffee glazed bacon sounds like a good thing. Blackberry cream cheese would likely be tasty on a bagel.  Candied pecans are a good thing. As are caramelized onions

But, all this assembled together?

How is all that held together by a donut bun?

Mildred's Papa and Mama go to a lot of places where something real tasty looking shows up on their table.

Of those I think the most tasty looking item comes from a place called something like Bentley's Pub. There Mildred's Papa gets classic British style fish and chips.

I miss fresh seafood of the cod, crab, halibut, clam and oyster sort.

This fish and chips that Mildred's Papa gets at that Bentley's Pub place looks like a classic fish and chips I  have had myself a time or two at a fish and chip joint at Stanley Park in Vancouver.

The Bearded Lady has an interesting menu which you can peruse by going to the Bearded Lady website.

Who wants to take me out to lunch at the Bearded Lady for a Coffee & Donut Burger?

I hear crickets......