The 3rd Tuesday Of December Dawns Rain-Free With A Ticket To Fly Out Of Texas

Looking at the picture of the view from my secondary viewing platform on the outer world one might intuit that the sun has arrived, due to the seemingly blue sky, on this 3rd Tuesday of the last month of 2011.

One would be intuiting incorrectly. It was very dark when I stepped outside to take a picture. The blue sky comes courtesy of the filter setting on the camera that somehow illuminates the darkness.

The pool is not looking its usual turquoise self because it is currently lacking its usual level of water, due to being partially drained so a light can be replaced.

When I took the above picture darkness still prevailed. Now, a half hour or two later the sun has arrived and has revealed that the sky appears to be void of any clouds and is as blue as the picture above.

I read no reports this morning of any flash flooding caused by yesterday's downpours.

Changing the subject from rain to something else.

I got a Southwest Airlines gift card last night via a Christmas Party at Springcreek Barbecue in Bedford. I guess this means I need to fly somewhere. Flying Southwest means going to Love Field in Dallas. Not nearly as convenient as the short drive to D/FW International Airport.

Changing the subject back to my favorite.

It is only 45 degrees this morning. Even if the pool was full, I would not be going swimming this morning.

Emery Orto Is Too Fat To Fly Southwest Airlines

That is Emery Orto and his wife, Clara, holding their Southwest Airlines tickets.

Emery and Clara had flown to Las Vegas from Chicago's Midway Airport, 4 days prior to this picture being taken.

Emery and Clara had no problem on the flight to Las Vegas, but after 4 days of Vegas buffets, when Emery tried to return home, Southwest Airlines would not let him leave because he had become too fat to fly.

Emery is about 6 feet tall and weighs around 350. So, he is a big guy. But too fat to fly? I know women who are way fatter than Emery and they are allowed to fly. However, I do not know if they buy extra seats to hold their girth, or not. Or if they try to fly on Southwest Airlines.

Emery says, "I was halfway down the ramp to my airplane when the woman who took my boarding pass grabbed me and asked if I could sit in an airplane seat with the arms folded down."

Southwest Airlines customer size policy says, "The armrest is the definitive gauge, as it serves as the boundary between seats."

Emery said, "I told her, yes, I could sit with the arms down and that I had flown many times and never had a problem. The airline employee then told me, 'You're not going to fly on this plane today.' I said, 'What did you just say?' and she said, 'You're not flying on this plane today.'

"I asked the woman why she was embarrassing me and humiliating me in front of all these people waiting to get on the plane. I admit that I was upset. I didn't threaten anyone, but I raised my voice so that I could be heard."

Emery was told he was being belligerent, "And that's when the airline employee called her female supervisor, who arrived with four male employees. She told me that if I didn't leave I would be arrested. I shut up right away when I heard that, except that I asked if we could get our baggage that was on the plane, and we were told not until we found our way back to Chicago."

Emery and Clara asked if they could at least get their medications out of their baggage. They were told, no.

A spokeswoman for Southwest Airlines claims Emery was given the option of buying an additional seat, next to his seat, for half price. Clara said that this was not true, that no such offer was made.

Emery and Clara walked the terminal, not knowing where to go, when they stopped another Southwest Airlines employee and asked him for help.

"I explained the situation to him and he told me I didn't look too large to fly. This was a really nice man, and he basically took us by the hand and brought us through the airport to a United Airlines reservations desk."

According to Emery, the reservations agent at United took one look at him and said he wasn't too large to fly.

"They had two seats available for $400 each, and I said, 'Praise the Lord.'"

The United plane took the pair of beleaguered Southwest Airlines victims to O'hare International Airport where they had to find ground transport to get them to Midway Airport where their car and baggage was.

In a parting shot, Emery said, "We're 62 years old, and I couldn't help thinking how even older people would deal with this problem. I've flown to New Orleans, Miami, Los Angeles and never had a problem. I never even had to use seat-belt extensions. And if they have a policy, why not follow it and let me try to sit in the seat with the armrests down? They never let me do that."

Well, it seems to me Southwest Airlines has some explaining and apologizing to do. Along with offering the Ortos a free trip, or two.

Southwest Airlines to Tacoma

Today's trip to Tacoma started off bad. But by the time I landed at Sea-Tac it was the best flight north yet.

Due to flying Southwest I had to fly out of Love Field in Dallas. Love Field sucks compared to the easy to use D/FW Airport. Parking was not easy. Going through security was the worst yet, with the conveyor built moving too much through the scanner, resulting in my laptop almost being knocked off.

I was wearing sandals and they made me take them off. So, I was barefoot during the chaos of trying to deal with my 4 trays of assorted cameras, computers, power supplies and stuff falling out of my backpack.

By the time I got my sandals back on I was a sweaty mess. I wanted water. The first water faucet was broken. I was really was starting to hate Love Field. I got to my gate, then took off to find water. I was successful.

Due to checking in online I was in Boarding Group A, Position 43. Southwest does not assign seats. I was able to get a window seat.

The first leg of this journey was to Albuquerque. We were barely in the air when drinks were mentioned. About a half hour later the waitress, I mean, stewardess, took my order. I was thirsty. I wanted Coke. Full sugar. About another half hour went by and finally the drink orders began to appear in the distance. I felt like I was in Hell's Kitchen.

By then I was getting cranky. A half hour prior to the Coke arriving 2 bags of peanuts were given to each of us. Salty peanuts. This did not help the thirst problem.

Finally, the Coke arrived at my section of the plane. In the littlest plastic cup I've seen, maybe 4 ounces.

I was really cranky by then. And then it began to turn around. A short time later the waitress asked if I needed anything else. Was there anyway I could have another Coke, I asked. Sure, you can. So, she brought me another.

By the time we landed in New Mexico I was back happy. Most of the people got off the plane. Then a head count was made. Then we could move to a new seat if we wanted. So, I moved to the front of the plane on the right side. This was a mistake.

The new people began to file in. No one had taken the seat next to me. Good thing. Then the announcer said everyone was on board. I like the extra room of an empty seat next to me. And then this guy and his kid could not find 2 seats next to each other. One of the waitresses asks if anyone would give up their seat. She offered free booze type drinks. Someone took the offer. And moved to the empty seat next to me.

She turned out to be interesting once she got liquored up on the wine they kept bringing her.

I was back thirsty again. We went through the same process again. This time it was Cheese Nips and peanuts a half hour before the Coke showed up. This time the second Coke showed up quickly. Then, a half hour to go to Seattle, she asked me again if I needed anything. Another Coke would be great, I said, my throat is sore. Which it was, due to breathing Level Orange Texas Ozone. She said she'd bring me a whole can. Which she did.

By then I was liking Southwest Airlines. I'm easy to make happy.

And then we flew the closest to Mount Rainier that I ever remember being. And I was on the wrong side of the plane. I did get a good view of the North Cascades, including the Mount Baker volcano, near where I used to live.

That's what you see in the above photo.

Max & Blue and Kristin and Michele were there to pick me up at Sea-Tac. It felt like natural air-conditioning outside. Now I'm in my current basement apartment and I'm sorta chilly. I can't remember the last time I was sorta chilly. It's a good thing.

Southwest Airlines Targets Fat People

Heavy duty participants in the National Strategic Fat Preserve, be warned, if you fly Southwest Airlines and if you appear unable to fit in a seat with the armrests down, you will likely be told that you need to buy an extra ticket if you want to fly.

Some people seem to think this is some form of discrimination.

What I think is I find airplane seats uncomfortable enough. I'd be miserable stuck next to someone for 4 hours who was oozing into my space, who made it difficult to get to the aisle en route to the restroom facility.

Why should a little person like me, a mere 172 pounds of me, pay the same as a person weighing 400 pounds? It takes way less airplane fuel to haul me 4000 miles than it takes to haul a 400 pounder. Why should I subsidize the airfare of a hugely obese person? How is it fair for a hugely obese person to fly for the same price as me?

I'm thinking the only fair thing would be to make all airfares based on poundage. Your personal weight plus whatever luggage you're dragging with you times a fixed amount per pound per mile.

For instance, if Southwest Airlines charged .0005087 per pound per mile, at 172 pounds, flying a roundtrip of 4000 miles it would cost me about $350. While the 400 pounder would pay $813.92.

Doesn't it makes good sense that your airfare be based on your share of the fuel consumed to haul your heft through the sky? And what a great incentive for some of our biggest fat banks to start drawing down on the National Strategic Fat Preserve.