The Segway Experience With CatsPaw In Fort Worth's Botanic Garden

CatsPaw surprised me today by letting me know that, via Groupon, she'd signed us up for a Segway tour of the 109 acre Fort Worth Botanic Garden.

Are Segways able to go off-road? On trails?

Before we are led on our tour we get personal instructions on how to operate the X2 Segways.

I have been all over the Fort Worth Botanic Garden. I may be wrong, but I don't think there are all that many areas where something like a Segway would be allowed, just like how a mountain bike or golf cart would not be allowed.

And then there are the elevation changes. Do Segway's easily navigate elevation changes?

The information that comes with the Groupon says that riders must be able to make motions such as climbing and descending stairs without assistance.

Climb and descend stairs? What does one do with ones Segway whilst climbing and descending stairs?

Also the Groupon ad says riders must weigh between 100 and 275 pounds. I guess I need to lose some weight before I get on a Segway.

It will be interesting to see how this Segway ride through the Botanic Garden works.

Betty Jo Bouvier Segways Across America (Except For Texas) Dispensing Economic Advice

You are looking at the Wild Woman of Woolley, Betty Jo Bouvier, on the right, and Betty Jo's daughter, Betty Jo, Jr., taking a tour of California's Sonoma wine country.

On Segways.

Does this give you a clue as to why Betty Jo came to be known as the Wild Woman of Woolley?

I have toured a California winery. Or two. But, always on foot.

Betty Jo was in Wine Country due to being in San Francisco visiting Betty Jr. I do not know if the Segways were used to tour Alcatraz or Chinatown.

This morning Betty Jo sent me a funny thing. I'm sure it's been all over the Internet. But, even so, I found it amusing, so I'm copying it below...

What do you think of this plan?

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ...

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ..

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer, or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.