Stop At Wichita Falls HOOTERS On Way To ALDI

On my way to ALDI this morning, stopped at the stop light at the intersection where Kemp and Call Field/Midwestern Boulevard meet, I looked up to see a new sign has arrived in Wichita Falls.

HOOTERS.

I believe this incoming HOOTERS is coming in to the location previously occupied by Logan's Roadhouse, which hit the road after closing a year or two ago.

I have not read anything about HOOTERS coming to Wichita Falls in the local newspaper. Nor have I seen advertisements soliciting for local talent to staff the cast of the Wichita Falls HOOTERS.

I hope I do not sound too rude, but since I have been in Wichita Falls I have not seen many, if any, of the type talent one sees being in the cast of the HOOTERS I have previously observed.

A HOOTERS recruiter will soon succumb to a sense of hopelessness if he or she tries to find HOOTERS type talent in either of the Wichita Falls Walmarts I frequent. The recruiter would find plenty of candidates with two of the expected HOOTERS assets, but the full package, this I have not eye witnessed in the nearly two years I have been in this town. Well, I may be forgetting one or two full package incidents.

And if HOOTERS has a no tattoos policy, well, from what I have seen in Wichita Falls, that recruiter will have a lot of trouble finding local talent without tattoos.

I have never seen so many tattoos on so many people, as I have in Wichita Falls, with the tattoos displayed on such large surface areas. And so proudly displayed, or more accurately, proudly exposed, due to an insufficient amount of clothing material modestly covering that which one would think those of such ample size would want covered.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see how well HOOTERS does in Wichita Falls...

Amusing Bass Static Over New Downtown Fort Worth Hooters

Last week's Fort Worth Weekly Static column Who’s Against Hooters? told us about Ed Bass being behind the attempt to constrain the opening of a Hooters in downtown Fort Worth.

This week's Fort Worth Weekly Static column Chest Having Fun is mostly a tongue in cheek apology for supposedly erroneously blaming Ed Bass for the anti-Hooters Conspiracy.

This week's Static column is sort of a look at how Fort Worth's shadow government works, with Ed Bass and the Bass family having way too much control over that which they seem to treat as their personal fiefdom.

I've long thought Fort Worth would be better off if it did some things on its own, like a city wearing its big boy pants does, rather than relying on the Bass family. Yes, I know, many locals think the Bass family has done wonders for Fort Worth and have no problem with the family imposing their personal tastes on the town.

Or slapping their names on the results of their largess. I know many people think the Bass Performance Hall is a wonder to behold. But to me it looks out of place, and sort of weird with those giant trumpet blowing angels stuck to the front of the building.

I digress, back to Static.

For a long long time I verbalized my perplexation regarding downtown Fort Worth having signs pointing to something called Sundance Square, where there was no square, thus confusing Fort Worth's few out of town tourists.

Eventually I was informed that there was no square in Sundance Square, that Sundance Square was a downtown development scheme run by the Bass Family.

After decades of downtown Fort Worth embarrassing itself, due to there being no square in Sundance Square, a square was finally built on one of the parking lots which many had assumed was Sundance Square, and then goofily, redundantly named Sundance Square Plaza.

So, now there is a plaza in Sundance Square.

Now, what did I learn in this week's FW Weekly Static column that I did not know before? Well, I learned that that which is still known as Sundance Square is even more convoluted and odd than I realized.

Read the entire Chest Having Fun  Static column to get the entire amusing scope of the Bass Sundance Square ridiculousness after you read the following paragraphs gleaned from the column.....

Last week, Static discussed how billionaire businessman Ed Bass was behind an organized push to keep a particular breastaurant out of downtown. We also wondered why the people who created the Facebook page Say NO to Hooters in Downtown Fort Worth (2,000 “likes” and counting) were so upset about the well-established wings chain featuring scantily clad female servers when another breastaurant, Ojos Locos, has been operating in Sundance Square for several years.

That prompted a Sundance Square spokesperson to ask for a correction. Seems Ojos Locos is not located in Sundance Square.

Anyone who has visited Ojos Locos would swear they were in Sundance Square. The sports bar with barely dressed female servers is located at 515 Houston St., and it sits next door to Milan Gallery (505 Houston St.), which is billed as being in Sundance Square.

As it turns out, streets, blocks, borders, and addresses don’t define Sundance Square, the downtown wining/dining/shopping haven and brainchild of the Bass family. Your business is considered a part of the exclusive district only if you lease space in a building owned by Sundance Square Inc., a real estate management company whose employees oversee more than 40 downtown buildings, all owned by the Basses.

___________________________

The anti-Hooters Bass Conspiracy has made itself a Facebook page titled SAY NO to HOOTERS in DOWNTOWN FORT WORTH.

After FW Weekly's Static made mention of the hypocrisy of the Bass anti-Hooters being against a Hooters in Sundance Square, while another Hooters-like restaurant named Ojos Locos seemed to be operating in Sundance Square, the anti-Hooters Facebook page was re-titled SAY NO to HOOTERS & OJOS LOCOS in DOWNTOWN FORT WORTH.

How did downtown Fort Worth suddenly get so prudish? The downtown used to host one of the most notorious red light districts in the world.

Known as Hell's Half Acre.

With dozens of bordellos and saloons. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid frequented Fort Worth to visit Hell's Half Acre, so much so that that is why Sundance Square is so-named.

What would Butch and Sundance think of Fort Worth now? The town run by prudes trying to run restaurants out of downtown simply due to the slightly revealing nature of a restaurant's waitress uniforms.

This is an appalling state of affairs....

May 24 Anticipating Texas Tornado Thunderstorms Washington Hooters & Kirstie Alley Winning Dancing With The Stars

I'm up early on this 24th day of May, with only one week to go in the month, looking through the bars of my patio prison cell at the glowing cauldron of doom I call a hot tub.

According to the National Weather Service the conditions will be that today's storming could produce tornadoes.

The NWS says, "There's a 60 percent chance of thunderstorms this afternoon. Some of today's storms could be severe as a strong upper-level disturbance comes into the area. The greatest threat will be hail, but the system could also spawn strong winds and tornadoes."

Something in the air is making my eyes slightly burn and water. I would have thought that yesterday's heavy duty storming, with almost 2 inches of rain, would have cleaned up the polluted local air, temporarily.

I was up unusually late last night, I think I was overstimulated by watching Kirstie Alley doing gymnastic routines, straining partner Maks's musculature to the limit, during her freestyle routine on last night's Dancing with the Stars finale.

My first couple hours of trying to sleep last night were interrupted by an amazing series of surreal nightmares. All I remember was waking up startled, over and over again.

Total change of subject from my nightmares to Hooters.

Before I moved to Texas I did not know that Hooters was an actual place with beer, hot wings and girls in hot pants. I thought Hooters was just a joke place that Al Bundy liked on Married With Children.

Well, imagine my surprise, this morning, when reading the Seattle P-I to learn that Washington spawned Hooters at some point in time after I moved to Texas. Apparently the Hooters have not done well in Washington. They have been closing without warning. Washington is now down to only 2 Hooters remaining. To get a Hooters hot wing, and view hot pants, you now have to go to Tacoma or Spokane.

I have yet to have been in a Hooters. I recollect the strip joint connoisseur, who calls himself Gar the Texan, wanting me to go to Hooters with him. I declined. The association in my mind with Al Bundy was just too strong. I'd not thought of it before, but Gar the Texan is very much like Al Bundy. Except for not being a shoe salesman or having a receding hairline.

Time to go swimming now before the incoming electric apocalypse.