Fort Worth's Fourth Has Five VIP Levels With Some Having Private Bathrooms & Cash Bars

Captain Andy pointed me to that which you see here, last night.

I did not get around to clicking on that which Captain Andy pointed me to til this morning.

The link went to a webpage on the City of Fort Worth website with interesting information about how one can join the Fort Worth Oligarchy to have oneself a mighty fine VIP experience at Fort Worth's Fourth.

I will copy the information in its entirety for those wondering how one celebrates the Fourth of July in Fort Worth VIP style....

Fort Worth’s Fourth is coming back to Panther Island Pavilion, and this year you can celebrate the Fourth of July in style, thanks to new VIP experiences offered at the festival.

Five new VIP sections will be located across the festival grounds, each offering a unique experience. Access to the VIP areas will range in price based on the amenities the section offers. VIP amenities include prime fireworks and water show views, reserved seating, shaded lounge areas, private bathrooms and cash bars, VIP parking options, and more.

Prices for the five VIP areas range from $10-$40 per person depending on the experience. Access to each area is limited and tickets should be purchased online in advance.

As always, admission to the festival and all family activities such as zip lines, bounce houses, water slides and more, are free to the public. There will be live music from Jimmy Buffett tribute band The Land Sharks and high-energy cover band Downtown Fever.

Food, soda, water and beer will be available for purchase onsite. Gates open at 2 p.m.; live music will be onstage 6-9:30 p.m.; fireworks begin at about 10 p.m.

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As always admission is free, along with all family activities?

But, for a fee Fort Worth 4th of July celebrators can gain access to one of five VIP areas, each offering different unique VIP experiences.

Including private bathrooms!

The VIP price ranges from $10 to $40 per person, depending on ones VIP level. The information does not include what price point includes access to those private  bathrooms.

Are the regular non-VIP people relegated to using one of those two lovely concrete enclosed outhouses which The Boondoggle has installed at the world's imaginary premiere urban music venue? I'm guessing extra outhouses are brought in for a special occasion.

I am also guessing those "private bathrooms" one pays extra for are also outhouses.

At what VIP level does one get a "cash bar"? A cash bar? As opposed to giving away booze for free? Will beer be available to be purchased with cash by the non-VIP people?

Is this a Trinity River Central City Panther Island Vision Boondoggle Product? I assume so, what with it taking place at Panther Island Pavilion, where there is no pavilion or island. And what with alcoholic beverages being prominently featured, at the cash bars.

How are the freeloading riffraff kept from using the VIP's special private bathrooms? Will there be security guards? A chain link fence separating the VIP's from the freeloading riffraff?

With 5 special VIP zones, each with their own special attributes, one can assume this must entail 5 separate enclosures to separate those who have paid for the privilege of being a VIP, from those who are not VIPs.

All in all something just seems, well, un-American about this VIP thing at Fort Worth's Fourth of July. Then again, it is sort of The Fort Worth Way to be a bit un-American at times.....

Fort Worth's 4th Of July With Trinity River Floating While North Richland Hills Has No River Floating Or Alcohol

I just got an email from Elsie Hotpepper asking me if I wanted to go floating in the Trinity River with her on Monday at Fort Worth's 4th of July celebration behind La Grave Field in what some now call Trinity Uptown.

The ad for Fort Worth's 4th says, "Float the Fourth Water Activities. Be cool and have a fun, splashing good time in the river."

If this floating is taking place by La Grave Field will this be a case of floating where no man has dared float before? Is the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle supplying Inner Tubes for this float like they do for the Inner Tube Happy Hour Floats that occur on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of the summer months?

Chesapeake Energy is presenting Fort Worth's 4th of July, according to the ad. What would Fort Worth do without Chesapeake Energy?

I mistakenly did not include the NRH 4th of July among my list of D/FW 4th of July celebrations.

Chesapeake Energy, among other Barnett Shale Natural Gas Drillers is helping sponsor North Richland Hills 4th of July celebration, as you can see in the ad below.

North Richland Hills' "The Family 4th Fireworks Show" is not the type event of which the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle's J.D. Granger would approve, because, according to the ad, "This is a litter-free, alcohol-free family celebration."

In addition to the NRH 4th of July ban on litter and booze, no personal fireworks or outdoor grilling will be allowed. But, there will be patriotic music playing, in sync, with the fireworks.

It seems odd to me, since the 4th of July is basically a celebration of freedom, that some of the celebrations tell you you are not free to grill a hot dog. Or drink a bottle of beer. Or set off a firecracker.

Of these two 4th of July celebrations, J.D. Granger's party on the Trinity River would appear to appeal to me more than the NRH celebration. 

But, I don't think I could possibly drink enough beer to cause my common sense to go haywire enough that I'd end up on the 4th floating in the Trinity River. No matter how strong a case Elsie Hotpepper makes to do so.