Olympic Lawn Mower Race

Last night I watched the Closing Ceremony of the Olympics. I made it as far as the athletes coming into the stadium. When I woke up this morning I had it in mind to blog about the ridiculousness of having a riding lawn mower competition in the Olympics.

I was certain I'd watched a riding lawn mower race last night where there was a big crash of dozens of lawn mowers with this guy from Kenya riding past the wreck and winning the gold medal. I remember thinking do they even have lawns to mow in Kenya?

So, this morning I Googled for images of last night's Olympic Riding Lawn Mower Race and was confused to not find any. And then I realized that I must have had a dream about the Olympic Riding Lawn Mower Race. And that there are no motorized competitions, as far as I know, in the Olympics. So, it had to be a figment of my bad imagination.

I did not watch much of the Olympics other than the opening and closing. Much of it seems ridiculous to me. Like one of the few things I watched was a men's gymnastic thing where a guy would flip himself off a vault and do twists in the air. He'd be judged as to how well he did his flips and twists and his landing.

The amount of time a guy would have to practice this bizarre feat in order to master it seems such a weird waste of effort. All so that you can compete at various events and possibly win a medal and the adulation of the millions of people who see this as a valuable, important activity.

Some of the Olympic stuff makes sense to me, due to it being things that humans actually do. Like run. Or swim. Or ride a bike. But to make a sport out of jumping on a trampoline and doing flips is just silly. Do they still have synchronized swimming? That one always seemed totally silly to me.

Anyway, I'm glad to see the Olympics go bye-bye for another 4 years, til 2012, when dozens of billions of dollars can be spent on it again, this time in London. I'll watch the opening ceremony, if I still have a TV, to see if the Brits top the spectacle the Chinese put on. I doubt that is possible.

Boycotting the Beijing Olympics

No, I'm not talking about America or any other nation boycotting the upcoming China Olympics due to China's bad treatment of Tibet.

I'm talking about my personal boycott.

As in not watching because the coverage drives me nuts. No, it's not that there is more time spent on commercials than on covering events.

It's the non-stop yammering of the commentators.

I only made it through a couple hours of the Athens Olympics opening ceremonies. I like watching all the pomp and ceremony and trying to hear the music. But Bob Costas would not shut up. It was so distracting. If someone had been in my house watching TV with me and they yapped on and on like Bob Costas I would issue an ultimatum, either shut up or get out of my house.

Unfortunately the only way to shut up Bob Costas is to change the channel or turn off the TV. I don't understand why American TV powers-that-be think we need to hear so much yammering. I used to live near the Canadian border and could watch Canadian TV. The Canadians are very well mannered and shut themselves up during something like an Opening Ceremony.

I don't watch the Winter Olympics anymore for the same reason. Pretty much the only part I find interesting is the ice skating. And a lot of that interest is borne of the same type base thinking that has rednecks going to car races hoping to see a spectacular wreck. But I did not watch a single second of the last Winter Olympics. I knew that that constant yammering while the ice skating was going on would make it unbearable. I don't know if Dick Buttons is still the chief commentator or not. He is really unbearable. So earnest. Over ice skating.

I did watch some of the Closing Ceremony of the Athens Olympics. I saw the part where the Chinese put on a show as a sort of preview of their Olympics. Dozens of long-legged Chinese beauties in skimpy very non-communistic outfits put on a dancing routine that reminded me of the Shanghai nightclub scene at the start of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

The Chinese Olympic preview was very well choreographed and fun to watch. As I'm sure their Olympic Opening Ceremony will also be. And I would watch it. If I knew there was a way to keep Bob Costas and his ilk out of my TV viewing room.