ABC's The Bachelorette Getting Married to a Snowboarder

I tried, really I did, but I could only make it through a little over an hour of last night's bizarre Bachelorette show.

In that hour The Bachelorette, DeAnna Pappas, desperate for a husband, took the boys to meet the family, including Papa Pappas.

The family seemed as desperate as DeAnna for her to find a husband. Greek family's must be big fans of getting the daughters married off.

The boys did the predictable asking the dad if he'd approve if they proposed. Papa Pappas approved, with the stipulation that Jesse the Snowboarder get his hair cut shorter.

I quit watching soon after the Dallas guy, Jeremy, who DeAnna said bye-bye to last week, showed up at her door and begged her to re-consider, going on about their shared bond of having dead moms and how deeply he'd fallen in absolute powerful all-encompasing love during the few weeks he's known her and the couple of dates they'd been on.

But, it was all in vain. with tears running down her cheeks, DeAnna gave poor lovesick Jeremy the boot again.

In the next hour, apparently Jason made DeAnna a board game, while Jesse made her a "Book of Thoughts," which was a photo album of their long courtship.

And then it came time for DeAnna to break someone's heart. Jason Mesnick, the account executive with a kid, got down on his knees to propose. DeAnna quickly yanked him back vertical and told Jason that "...even though I'm falling in love with you, I'm in love with someone else."

The above said, to the shock of millions of viewers, as they realized she was dumping the responsible adult, described in the Seattle P-I as "Perfect: clean-cut, tall, dark, handsome, self-assured, someone who wanted Pappas to complete his family, " for Jesse Csincsak.

The P-I described the Husband Hunter's choice thusly, "Csincsak has longish locks, an Owen Wilson nose and clothes that can be Mars Volta-concert loud. He's still searching for what's after snowboarding, but he did start a nonprofit for disadvantaged kids. (It revolves around snowboarding.)"

In the hour that followed an "After the Final Rose" show ran another hour, during which DeAnna and Jesse announced their wedding date as a year in the future. Yeah, I bet that's gonna happen.

Comments on ABC's Live Blog verbalized total disdain and disbelief that she chose the greasy-haired, short snowboarder.

The Survivor Sucksters were typically more colorfully opinionated. Here is one choice example. (Pardon the language)

"At first I was pissed she'd reject such a sweetheart like Jason but then again she deserves to breed with that prick Jessie and produce retarded offspring. Jason and Jeremy can do better than that dumb bitch."

Below is a video of the bizarre visit to Seattle where DeAnna got to meet Jason's family and kid. The best part of this video is the good look at good-looking Seattle.

ABC's The Bachelorette Final Rose Wilts

Go here for this morning's blogging about last night's Bachelorette final episode.

It's sort of embarrassing that of the 100s of bloggings I've blathered, by far, the most viewed bloggings have been the ones about that ABC train wreck of a show called The Bachelorette. Also embarrassing is various search strings have my bloggings about this show Googling in the top spot. Hence all the readers.

Well, I'm all about pandering in a constantly lackluster attempt to get someone to listen to me, so, once more I'm blogging about ABC's The Bachelorette.

Tonight is the show's finale, or in Bachelorette-speak, the Final Rose Ceremony. This show is almost religious in its ceremonies. Last week we were treated to the ceremony of the greatly sought after invite to spend a night as a couple in the Fantasy Romance Suite. Or something like that.

As I understand it, tonight, for 2 hours I'll be subjected to, if I watch, the Bachelorette, DeAnna Pappas, introducing her two potential husbands to her family in order to gain their possible approval.

Then, in the seemingly scripted part of the show, the two potential husbands solemnly confess to the father their deep love for his daughter. And ask for his approval of the suitor as a son-in-law.

What'd be fun is if the dad said something like "If you think you've fallen in love with my daughter in 30 days on a TV show and you want to marry her, well you've gotta be a nutcase, so NO WAY do I want you in my family."

This morning the Star-Telegram made note of tonight's end of this show and lamented that we in Texas have little reason to watch because the girl gave the guy from Dallas, Jeremy, the boot last week. It was heartbreaking.

Tonight DeAnna chooses between Jason, with a kid, and a real job, and Jesse, a professional snowboarder.

This goes on for 2 hours. And then is followed with another hour called "After the Final Rose: DeAnna Tells All." I guess she is gonna tell what actually happens during those overnight stays in the Romantic Fantasy Suite.

ABC's The Bachelorette 4 Gag Me Fest

Go here for this morning's blogging about last night's Bachelorette final episode.

I know I said I would not watch this train wreck anymore. But last night I was tired, my head hurt, my back ached, I was in a bad mood. I needed some mindless nonsense to appall and possibly entertain me with its appallingness. The Bachelorette fits that bill.

Last night, the Husband Hunter, DeeAnna, was down to 3 guys, all with 'J' names. As in Jeremy, Jason and Jesse.

The premise of last night's episode was the Husband Hunter was to go on a supposedly romantic date with each of the guys, somewhere in the Bahamas. After dinner she hands the guy a card telling him if he wants to they can spend the night as a couple in something called the Romantic Fantasy Suite. I think that's fancy speak for brothel, but I'm not sure.

Stay in the Fantasy Suite? As a couple? As in sleep together? And that is what it appeared happened. I don't remember the order of the assignations. But one of the guys, either Jeremy or Jason, was laying on the bed, smooching DeeAnna. He then gets up and shuts the door, blocking out the camera man. How romantic. To me the implication was that DeeAnna must have helped herself to a full sampling of her 3 suitors husbandly wares.

One of the guys seems real strange, like there's something wrong with him. His name is Jeremy. In Survivor Sucks someone had this to say about Jeremy, "Jeremy is a sociopath and he scares me." He seemed robotic to me.

The third potential husband, Jesse, is a short guy, with long greasy hair. He snowboards for a living. DeeAnna asked him what he wants to do when he's done snowboarding. Jesse said he wants to teach snowboarding.

Much of this show seems obviously scripted. Each of the guy's talk to the camera about how their feelings for the Husband Hunter are growing deeper, how they must find the words to let her know their feelings are growing deeper. And then we see each of them tell her their feelings are growing deeper, or some variation thereof. And DeeAnna is terribly pleased to learn of the growing affection. Soon after that they get their invites to the Fantasy Suite for a night of whoopee.

Jeremy seemed to be the one who most ardently, in his robotic way, expressed how his feelings had grown into something he'd never known before. Likely because of that being a sociopath without normal human emotions thing.

So, Jeremy, the guy who expressed his growing love the best, got the boot. I'm guessing that poor ol' Jeremy did not meet the Husband Hunter DeeAnna's performance standards in the Fantasy Suite part of the auditions. This show should be on HBO and include what goes on in the Fantasy Suite. That'd surely be compelling television.

So, it's down to Jason with a kid and Jesse with a snowboard. Jason seems a bit odd. Strangely manic. Jesse seems real young.

Here's another gem from a Survivor Suckster, "I watched this all at once, and think I would have loathed the girl from the beginning. She's got a hard face, is pear shaped, has huge thighs and a misshapen butt, and has--based on the really sad "Bachelors Tell All" show--a fairly severe personality disorder."

Sucksters can be so rude. But I sort of agree. That and she has this very annoying way of talking, where she slides her head back and forth like she's got a rubber neck. I only made it part way through the "Bachelors Tell All" hour that followed the hour where she slept with her 3 potential husbands during the course of a week in the Bahamas.

I guess I'm just a prude. But I really don't think I'd wanna have myself on national tv, searching for a mate, and being a bit of a skanky type in the process. That just seems sorta not the mate you wanna bring home type thing.

ABC's The Bachelorette 4 & Me

Go here for this morning's blogging about last night's Bachelorette final episode.

Last night I was tired and in a foul mood. I needed mindless, stupid, escapist television to put my mood in a better place. So, I decided, no matter how boring or appalling I found it, I was going to watch an entire episode of The Bachelorette.

I did not know, at the time, this was a 2 hour commitment, with the first hour called "DeAnna Tells All." I didn't want to know all. I don't remember much of that hour. My mind must have wandered. I do remember they went to Vail, Colorado to visit the only married couple to result from one of these shows. The husband part of this pair did not seem a happy fellow. And the skin all around his eyes was an odd shade of blue. I don't think it was eye shadow. His name is Ryan, the wife's name is Trista. I've seen this pair on TV before.

And then the second hour began. There are 6 potential husbands remaining. In this episode she must get rid of 2 and then next week take the other 4 to their hometowns to meet their friends and family. Most of the conversation on the show revolved around DeAnna's overarching concern regarding those visits.

The show started with the Outhouse boys being let out and with everyone taken to Palm Springs for a week of heavy dating.

I read someone describe this DeAnna person as having the personality of a gnat. I get what they mean now. If, of all the video footage they must have filmed, if what they show is the best they had to work with, well, that's just sad.

I've seldom listened to so many stilted conversations. She's so earnest about her search for a husband. It's a process, we hear again and again. That takes 4 weeks. You develop a lifelong relationship, in 4 weeks, with cameras recording your meetings with your potential mate.

One of the ones she booted she first took on a ride up the Palm Springs Tramway. They had dinner outside in the cold and a lot of stilted conversation where he, whatever his name was, professed his growing feelings for her, now that they've finally been alone. Except for the camera crew.

She took another guy on a very weird date. I remember his name. Jeremy. A very boring lawyer from Dallas, who claims to work til 10pm every night, yet still finds time to hit the gym, what appeared to be excessively, as he looked like a skinny Schwarzenegger. Is a guy who works til 10pm each night, and then hits the gym, good husband material?

So, for her date with musclebound Jeremy, DeAnna drove him, in a vintage car, to the late Frank Sinatra's house where much hilarity ensued as they badly karaoked a Frank Sinatra song. Their conversation was painful to listen to. This girl does not have the slightest bit of wit to her. And then, suddenly, they were in robes. Apparently, their swimming suits had been smuggled in. And so they swam in Frank's pool. Jeremy was a tad funny when he apologized to Sinatra for the singing and other desecrations of Frank's house.

At one point, DeAnna stuck the boys in helicopters, with one weird guy named Twille, I think, getting what they call "one on one time" with DeAnna. Unfortunately Twille has a motion sickness problem, so DeAnna spent most of the flight worrying that Twille was "gonna puke on me." He didn't. But when they landed he couldn't figure out how to open the door.

The reason for the copter ride was to get out to the desert to participate in one of DeAnna's favorite things. Riding an ATV. She was a real wild woman at it. She was not impressed with how wussy some of the guys were, but was impressed with how masterful a short, professional snowboarder was, named, I think, Jesse. She was not impressed with what a weeny Twille was on the ATVs. So, he got the boot.

Regarding Jesse, later, now slightly smitten with him due to his ATV riding skills, back at the house, sitting at a table, looking longingly into Jesse's eyes, DeAnna desperately wanted him to kiss her. He didn't. She lamented about this later. DeAnna's seems to have no problem with doing a lot of smooching, sometimes quite ardently. During the period while they were all in the yard and she got no smooch from Jesse, she did do smooching with each of the other guys, I think. The ones who weren't currently doing the smooching could see this going on. Very romantic to watch your future wife being busy with other guys. That session ended with DeAnna and Graham embracing tightly in a hammock, to the chagrin of the other boys.

And then there's this guy from Kirkland, WA, that's a suburb of Seattle. He seems like a nice guy. But he's got a 3 year old kid. I figured his wife must have died. But, no, it was a divorce. He doesn't have sole custody. Isn't that a redflag in dating world? Young divorced guy, with kid?

And then there is the guy the other guys seem to think is her favorite. His name is Graham. I read in Survivor Sucks that he has claimed to be celibate. In previews his own mother told DeAnna that Graham has never had a relationship last longer than 4 weeks. It appeared from the previews that this leads to a lot of crying and claims of betrayal. I assumed this was directed at Graham. Graham is an interesting name. It makes me think cracker.

For the booting the 6 guys arrived and were quite perplexed, because usually DeAnna is there to greet them, while a cocktail party takes place where each guy can once more make his case to stay and declare his undying love that he's found. In 3 weeks. But, DeAnna did not want to put them through this living hell, because she had made up her mind, so there was no use prolonging the agony. What a sweet, sensitive girl. The guys seemed more upset, though, that they weren't getting their usual cocktail party. And the bootees did not seem all that upset at leaving this trainwreck.

Anyway, I made it through 2 hours of this, with very little channel chasing. Now that I've seen the whole appalling thing it is more bizarre to me than ever. What sort of fool thinks this is the way to find a mate? With tv cameras running. In 4 weeks.

I'll admit the show had some amusing moments. Though I think they were all unintentional. Like the bootees were all more interested in hugging the other guys and saying fond farewells to them than they were in saying goodbye to the one who had rejected them. The host of this show is funny too, in that he seems to take it all very serious, almost like it is all part of some weird religion and he's running the church service.

I won't be watching again. Unless I'm in a very foul mood.