Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Today I Had A Walmart Wardrobe Malfunction


One of my pathetically regular entertainments is to go to Walmart in a sort of anthropological expedition frame of mine, marveling at the number of people who apparently do not have a mirror at home.

Or don't care how they look when they look in the mirror.

Of late it has been way too many way too big women stuffed into way too short shorts. With tattoos. And piercings.

So, today I had myself a judge not lest ye be judged moment, related to Walmart.

I needed milk. And so, instead of getting my daily dose of endorphins via aerobic walking stimulation in an outdoor venue, I opted to get the endorphins in the air-conditioned comfort of Walmart.

My Walmart walking attire was simple. Sandals, cargo shorts, t-shirt. That's it.

When I put on the cargo shorts and bent over to strap in the sandals I heard a slight tearing noise. I felt around and felt no disruption in the cargo short material.

So, I drove the short distance to Walmart. Exited the vehicle and thought, well, the breeze is feeling extra refreshing today.

Inside Walmart the air-conditioning seemed extra cooling.

I got in my miles of Walmart walking and then drove back home, where I took off my walking clothes to put on my making lunch clothes.

When I took off the cargo shorts I instantly was mortified to see a HUGE tear in the back pocket zone.

A HUGE hole. Which is what you see photo documented above.

I do not know how much bare flesh was exposed as I walked around Walmart, oblivious to the possible spectacle.

I hope no one took a photo that will show up on Facebook as part of the "People of Walmart" series...

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