Fubbo the Hut has a blog. I don't often think to look at Fubbo's blog, because, well, it is sort of, well, embarrassing, which causes a cringe reflex in me.
And then she has all these people who must be even dumber than Fubbo, telling her how brilliant her most recent post is and how brave she was to do what it was she has described in her latest incoherent, cringe-inducing post.
So, here's my short version of Fubbo the Hut's most recent blogging.
But, before I get to that, I must add that Fubbo the Hut is a clinically diagnosed pathological liar.
So, at the start of the post, Fubbo informs us that on this one particular day she forgot to eat.
Yeah, right. This is a 600 or 700, or more, pound person who never forgets to eat. Constantly. In massive volumes. Hence the Fubbo the Hut body.
So, Fubbo's long suffering husband gets home from work. Fubbo then remembers, supposedly, that she's not eaten all day. Convinces the husband to transport her to Safeway so the Hut can get some chicken strips from the Safeway Deli.
Tragedy strikes.
The Deli is out of chicken strips. How about Chinese food?
No.
No Chinese food after 7 pm. Supposedly.
So, in a grocery store full of food, and in an area with a lot of restaurants, including a real good Thai place, Fubbo the Hut convinces her husband to drive a distance to the nearest McDonald's.
Arriving at the McDonald's Fubbo the Hut has her husband go inside to get her an Angus burger. Fubbo stays in the car because it is not easy to move when you are Fubbo the Hut. And Fubbo can no longer fit in McDonald's seating. I learned that on my last visit to the PNW when Fubbo nearly destroyed a stool and table in a Gig Harbor McDonald's.
Fubbo made up some odd explanation as to why the drive up window was not an okay method to use to get her an Angus burger.
As Fubbo the Hut sat there waiting for her first nutrition of the day, a car drove into the drive-thru with music pumping and thumping a loud bass boom that Fubbo claimed vibrated her windows. And, I suspect, her thick layers of adipose tissue also resonated with the vibrating.
Fubbo the Hut then saw, supposedly, that a baby was seated next to a throbbing speaker. Then, again supposedly, Fubbo the Hut got out of her car, waddled over to the booming car and politely, again, supposedly, tried to explain to the driver that the loud noise was destroying the baby's ear drums.
The driver told Fubbo the Hut to mind her own business.
Fubbo persisted. The driver then, supposedly, reached down and pulled out a gun and said something like, "Go away you fat scary freak."
Fubbo the Hut then waddled back to her car, where she awaited her Angus burger. And then, when it arrived, again supposedly, Fubbo did not mention the incident to her burger delivering husband.
Now. I have been the victim of one of Fubbo the Hut's episodes where she is just darn sure she is right about something and determined that you see the light. I imagine the guy in the car, supposedly with a gun, was scared to death to have this freakish space alien hollering at him.
Trust me, when you have hundreds upon hundreds of pounds of angry flesh hollering at you, irrationally and incoherently, it is a situation where you wish you had a gun.
At the start of her blogging about this supposed incident, Fubbo the Hut said she really should stay inside at all times and avoid human contact. In this assessment, for once, I think she may be thinking clearly.
And, additionally, how does a grown adult not have a supply of food in their house? And when you realize you've not eaten, and there is no food in the house, you go to a grocery store to get chicken strips? Rather than stock up on your food supply at the grocery store? With nothing to eat in the house, what happened the next morning?
McDonald's for breakfast?
I do like their biscuits.
And why would you share this supposed incident with others, on your blog, when it makes you appear to be a total idiot?
Very perplexing. Who forgets to eat? Particularly among the obese?
The long hot summer is getting to us and it's only June. I never claimed my comments made any sense.
ReplyDeleteI must make a concerted effort to READ you everyday! This is fabulous! What a classic case of the poor me syndrome! Not only does Flubberwocky want us to believe that it didn't remember to eat, but that it was also so vehemently rejected by a passerby.
ReplyDeleteFlabadoodle should really try shopping at SAMS. I hear they carry food in truck loads which can be conveniently purchased in massive quantities for low low prices. I'm sure a visit to SAMS over abundant warehouse of food will solve all Flubberwubber's eating sorrows.