Friday, April 16, 2010

I Have Heard From The Duchess Of Scarborough Faire Renaissance Festival

Way back in Spring of 2002 or 2003 I spent a couple hours at the Scarborough Faire Renaissance Festival in Waxachachie.

It was Pirate Adventure Weekend. That fact would later cause me all sorts of trouble. The simple little webpage I made of my visit, to what I called Scarbo (another crime), generated a storm of upset unlike anything I'd done before or since.

There were attempts to win me over, to what I guess was the Scarbo Cause. I got invited to Scarbo events. I got invited to a Scarbo Wedding. I got invited to document Scarbo Training. I was told if I returned for another visit, this time with a guide, I would have security protection.

But, in all the years since that fateful visit, I've not been back. It was all sort of a toxic experience. I get enought toxicity from some of my relatives. And others. I really don't need exposure to stranger toxicity, in the form of wenches and men in tights.

So, this morning I got what must be the longest Feedback Comment I've ever received. It came from a Scarboite calling herself Jacqueline Bones / Rosemary Margaret Barley / Cherubina Rosetta Antonia Cantalupi, Sixth child of the third cousin twice removed of the youngest brother of lady wife of the Duke of Padua, so I'm *breathes* practically a Duchess.

Below is the amusing Comment from the Duchess...

Yeah, I'm never going to get used to hearing it called Scarbo. Just never. Not a complaint. Just not one I've heard. I mean, I *just* got used to 'Scarby'. I laugh at my own inflexibilty. This must be why I'm a rennie: My total inability to move with the times.

Ah, the debate. I would have more respect for the original article and comments if it weren't so obvious that you don't give a damn what people say - you like those who agree with you, and mock those who don't... which is human nature, but does put your openmindedness in question. (By the way, if I got that one totally wrong, please let me know, with minimal sarcasm - I really didn't read every single bloody comment on the page, so I may totally be slandering your noble and bidder character.) Not that this really matters - more of a pet peeve, I suppose.

Now, a (hopefully) brief bout of persnicketyness.

Regarding anachronicity (this is a word, as of now, because I say so): Scarby has never (I don't think) even pretended to authenticity... if they have, then something is very, very wrong. Faire is a bit like Steampunk - the fun is in the mixing of time periods, which keeps it quirky (if I see an aticle on steampunk, I'm gonna do a culture revolution dance). The most die-hard authentic rennies at Scarby still bring out the anachronisms, just for the fun of it! The ones more intense than that... just don't come to faire. The become history professors. Robert Stout of Portershire (brewer and purveyor of fine spirits) is a loved one and a history lover of epic proprtions (bad, bad pun), who nevertheless will turn right around and make jokes based on twentyfirst century culture, because he enjoys it. It's one of the many ways that he's cooler than me. And it catches people a bit off their gaurd, which just makes it so much more entertaining. Note: Without A Net's most popular song is a rewritten Rice Crispies commercial. Dammit.

Regarding Nay-sayers: Oh, Janna, Janna, Janna... Why. Why bother. I thought that comment was stupid, too, but writing a three-page memo is the most pointless over-reaction.... Oh well.

People get so worked up over nothing (quothe the girl writing the enormous ever-growing e-mail when she should be doing her homework or sewing), it's just silly. That said, Don't Knock Diamond, the lady's the bomb. She's just too cool. It's not safe. And, she's been known to kill pixies with her cleavage, which is a hell of a way to go.

As for the people who posted sycophantically laughing at fellow rennies... Good luck. Tight knit group, thin nerves, drama queen tempers, do not use your real name.

Regarding your replies: Okay, I'm gonna be the persnickety person now, it's not a hobby. Playtrons do it as a hobby, and that's awesome. That was me from five to fifteen. But actual Rennies are for the most part professionals, and it's not a hobby. They are doing something they love, not in addition to, but often instead of a 'real job'. I was once at a Scarby birthday, and got to hear the words, "...sixty - and for a Rennie, that's halfway to retirement age!" ...which I thought was very classy.

Similar note, a favorite story from Daniel, Duke of Danger will often get Rennies talking about the looks you get at grocery stores when you pay in ones.

What's sad is that I probably have more, but I'm going to STFU now, so this is me signing out.

May There Be A Road,
-Jacqueline Bones / Rosemary Margaret Barley / Cherubina Rosetta Antonia Cantalupi, Sixth child of the third cousin twice removed of the youngest brother of lady wife of the Duke of Padua, so I'm *breathes* practically a Duchess.

P.S.
Regarding Steve: NO, you should defenitely not come out to Middlefaire. Oh no. Don't do it. it's tiny. It's like Scarby had a baby and abandoned her in a field. We need all the good hype we can get, and as little as possible of the bad! We've already had our flames, thank you....

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