Imaginary Fort Worth Political Cartoonist Returns Home

Yesterday in the Seattle Times I saw that which you see here, an article titled More of everything: David Horsey returns to a changed Seattle.

David Horsey is a Pulitzer Prize winning political cartoonist who, when I lived in Washington, did his political cartooning for the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.  And then, apparently, six years ago, Horsey left Seattle to do his political cartooning in Los Angeles. I do not know if after I left Washington Mr. Horsey went to cartooning for the Seattle Times, but I do know he has now returned to Seattle to do political cartooning for the Seattle Times.

And in this current Seattle Times entry Horsey did some political cartooning in video form in which he reflects on what has changed in Seattle in the six years he was out of town.

I know how that is, the reflecting on the changes after being gone for awhile. Last summer I saw Seattle for the first time in nine years. And was sorta of shocked by some of what I saw. Such as the large homeless encampments looking like tent campgrounds, sprouted beside the I-5 freeway, viewed like a dystopian nightmare as one slowly drives through downtown Seattle.

In his reflecting about the changes in Seattle Horsey makes mention of the shocking homeless camps, and the slow traffic on I-5.

Horsey also makes mention of other things, such as all the construction cranes, the changed skyline, all the Amazon workers, that type thing. You can watch this David Horsey returns to a changed Seattle video embedded below, or by clicking the link above to go to the article.

But, what struck my imagination whilst seeing this was wondering what a Fort Worth Horsey would think returning to Fort Worth after a six year stint in Los Angeles.

Yes, I realize the idea that the Fort Worth Star-Telegram would have a Pulitzer Prize winning political cartoonist is a bit of a stretch, but stay with me here.

So, when that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist left Fort Worth six years ago the Trinity River Vision had not yet quite become America's Biggest Boondoggle.

I think it was around six years ago that the Boondoggle's J.D. Granger breathlessly announced that the Trinity River Vision was bringing the coveted sport of wake boarding to an urban venue in the form of the Cowtown Wakepark.

That imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist would return to Fort Worth to find the Cowtown Wakepark has long been sunk by incompetent management and an idiotic business model. Sort of a metaphor for the Trinity River Vision, which in 2018 is now known as the Trinity River Central City Uptown Panther Island District Vision, in addition to its accolade as America's Biggest Boondoggle.

When that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist left Fort Worth six years ago the Boondoggle's bridges had long been part of the cloudy Trinity River Vision. They were then called "Signature Bridges". That imaginary political cartoonist would likely return to Fort Worth assuming those make believe Signature Bridges were now a reality, connecting the Fort Worth mainland to an imaginary island, with that imaginary island being imagined whilst he was in Los Angeles.

But, as I mentioned a couple days after I experienced a Fort Worth Drive By America's Biggest Boondoggle Embarrassment those bridges, bizarrely named, by the Boondoggle "Panther Island Bridges" do not exist, after four years of construction, all one can see is a HUGE construction mess with multiple V-piers in various stages of teeter tottering. So much so locals have taken to referring to the Stonehenge-ish eyesores as the Yeehaw Seesaws.

When that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist left Fort Worth six years ago the downtown Fort Worth park celebrating Fort Worth's heritage, appropriately named Heritage Park, was a boarded up, cyclone fence surrounded eyesore. Six years later Fort Worth's heritage is still being celebrated in boarded up, cyclone fence surrounded fashion. Yet one more visual metaphor accurately representing the Fort Worth reality.

When that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist left Fort Worth six years ago the town's few tourists were still being confused when trying to find where Sundance Square was, with most thinking Sundance Square was the parking lots located by a big mural celebrating the Chisholm Trail. Well, that imaginary political cartoonist would return to Fort Worth and discover those parking lots have been turned into an actual little square, called Sundance Square Plaza.

When that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist left Fort Worth the town had no modern public transit system, other than a primitive bus system using primitive buses. While Los Angeles was busy building miles of light rail mass transit, that  Fort Worth political cartoonist would return to Fort Worth to find downtown Fort Worth still sporting Molly the Trolley. An Australian bus converted to look like a trolley.

When that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist left Fort Worth the town's downtown had little construction happening, with very few construction cranes. Such was still the case six years later, with a downtown skyline little changed.

Horsey returned to Seattle to see part of the downtown transformed by Amazon. And other corporations. That imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist would return to Fort Worth to find Radio Shack's corporate headquarters turned into a county college.

Perhaps most horrifyingly that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist left Fort Worth when the locals still considered the Trinity River a dangerously polluted river one did not want to get wet in, or eat fish one caught in the river. And now, six years later, part of America's Biggest Boondoggle consists of hosting Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats in that polluted river, hosted at an imaginary pavilion at an imaginary island.

Horsey returned to Seattle to find a downtown with multiple grocery stores, department stores, vertical malls, dozens of new restaurants, light rail running under downtown via a tunnel. Meanwhile that imaginary Fort Worth political cartoonist would return to Fort Worth to find the Star-Telegram touting the amazing opening of the downtown area's first pharmacy. And would soon notice that downtown Fort Worth still has no grocery stores, department stores, and few new restaurants. Or one of those new-fangled light rail transit things running under downtown Fort Worth.

But, like we said, there is Molly the Trolley to take you around downtown Fort Worth.

We could go on and on here, mentioning other things unchanged in Fort Worth in six years. Such as the town's parks for the most part still not having modern facilities such as running water and restrooms. But an unseemly number of outhouses. And that Fort Worth streets still, for the most part, lack sidewalks.

But, we will end here, with that aforementioned embedded video of that aforementioned Horsey political cartoon video...