Fort Worth's Fourth Has Five VIP Levels With Some Having Private Bathrooms & Cash Bars

Captain Andy pointed me to that which you see here, last night.

I did not get around to clicking on that which Captain Andy pointed me to til this morning.

The link went to a webpage on the City of Fort Worth website with interesting information about how one can join the Fort Worth Oligarchy to have oneself a mighty fine VIP experience at Fort Worth's Fourth.

I will copy the information in its entirety for those wondering how one celebrates the Fourth of July in Fort Worth VIP style....

Fort Worth’s Fourth is coming back to Panther Island Pavilion, and this year you can celebrate the Fourth of July in style, thanks to new VIP experiences offered at the festival.

Five new VIP sections will be located across the festival grounds, each offering a unique experience. Access to the VIP areas will range in price based on the amenities the section offers. VIP amenities include prime fireworks and water show views, reserved seating, shaded lounge areas, private bathrooms and cash bars, VIP parking options, and more.

Prices for the five VIP areas range from $10-$40 per person depending on the experience. Access to each area is limited and tickets should be purchased online in advance.

As always, admission to the festival and all family activities such as zip lines, bounce houses, water slides and more, are free to the public. There will be live music from Jimmy Buffett tribute band The Land Sharks and high-energy cover band Downtown Fever.

Food, soda, water and beer will be available for purchase onsite. Gates open at 2 p.m.; live music will be onstage 6-9:30 p.m.; fireworks begin at about 10 p.m.

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As always admission is free, along with all family activities?

But, for a fee Fort Worth 4th of July celebrators can gain access to one of five VIP areas, each offering different unique VIP experiences.

Including private bathrooms!

The VIP price ranges from $10 to $40 per person, depending on ones VIP level. The information does not include what price point includes access to those private  bathrooms.

Are the regular non-VIP people relegated to using one of those two lovely concrete enclosed outhouses which The Boondoggle has installed at the world's imaginary premiere urban music venue? I'm guessing extra outhouses are brought in for a special occasion.

I am also guessing those "private bathrooms" one pays extra for are also outhouses.

At what VIP level does one get a "cash bar"? A cash bar? As opposed to giving away booze for free? Will beer be available to be purchased with cash by the non-VIP people?

Is this a Trinity River Central City Panther Island Vision Boondoggle Product? I assume so, what with it taking place at Panther Island Pavilion, where there is no pavilion or island. And what with alcoholic beverages being prominently featured, at the cash bars.

How are the freeloading riffraff kept from using the VIP's special private bathrooms? Will there be security guards? A chain link fence separating the VIP's from the freeloading riffraff?

With 5 special VIP zones, each with their own special attributes, one can assume this must entail 5 separate enclosures to separate those who have paid for the privilege of being a VIP, from those who are not VIPs.

All in all something just seems, well, un-American about this VIP thing at Fort Worth's Fourth of July. Then again, it is sort of The Fort Worth Way to be a bit un-American at times.....