Saturday, May 7, 2011

Fort Worth's Boss Hogg Jim Lane's Latest Mailing Where We Learn Of His Troubles With Breast Cancer, Brain Surgery, Reproductive Woes & A Kid In His Terrible Twos

Yet one more big advertisement from Fort Worth's Boss Hogg, also known as Jim Lane. Jim Lane is trying to replace Mike Moncrief as Fort Worth's mayor.

Jim Lane is a member of the Fort Worth Ruling Oligarchy. The FWRO has already announced its choice for mayor, making the announcement in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram via their Editorial Board mouthpiece.

The FWRO's chosen one is Betsy Price.

Why Jim Lane continues to spend what must be a small fortune on his huge, color, slick campaign ads is a mystery to me.

The most recent Jim Lane mailing is twice as big as the previous ones. It is one big piece of paper, folded in two.

When you unfold the mailing you see, on the front page, Jim Lane without his cowboy hat, wearing a white t-shirt with a lot of pink on it. There is also a picture of Jim Lane wearing his cowboy hat while staring at "The Moving Wall" replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall when it was in Tarrant County.

Under the picture of Jim Lane staring at the wall there is a letter from a soldier in Iraq.

The reason why Jim Lane is wearing a pink t-shirt has to do with Jim Lane and his wife, Janet's, support for a local breast cancer support group called "Andrew's Angels."

We learn one of the reasons Jim and Janet support a breast cancer support group when we flip the ad over to page 2.

Page 2 is a replica of an article from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram with the headline being "Surviving breast cancer and a dangerous brain operation, Janet and Jim Lane are excited for the future of their family and all families in Fort Worth."

In the article we learn that it was Janet, not Jim, who is a breast cancer survivor. While Jim had a dangerous brain operation.

We also learn that Jim and Janet got married 9 years ago. Since Jim is now 65 that would make him 56 when he married 40 year old Janet. I'm calculating Janet's age from info gleaned in a sub-headline in the Star-Telegram article that says "At age 46, Janet underwent a double mastectomy in September 2008."

Soon after they got married Jim and Janet tried everything they could think of to get in the family way. Years of hard work had Jim doing a lot of praying. A short paragraph on all this praying from the article...

"I started wartin' God," he said. "I prayed and prayed, morning, noon and night."

What in the world is wartin' I am wondering?

So, Janet had breast cancer, Jim then found out he had something called a Chiari malformation. This required brain surgery where the surgeon discovered Jim had the thickest skull he had ever operated on.

Jim and Janet's little boy, Jake, is only 2, which I guess we can extrapolate from that that after years of trying, cancer and a brain operation, Jim and Janet finally got pregnant.

That is sort of impressive.

Little Jake sounds real precocious. The article ends with the tale of Janet's keys going missing multiple times, with Jake finally confessing to being the culprit, saying, "I can't help it. I'm in my terrible twos."

What 2 year old knows of the concept of the terrible twos? I suppose at other times Jake excuses his bad behavior by saying, "I can't help it. I'm an only child."

Now, doesn't Jim Lane sound like he'd make a fun mayor for Fort Worth?

3 comments:

  1. Oh boy, I haven't gotten this masterpiece yet. Does it come with a scratch-n-play MP3 of tiny violins?

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  2. CatsPaw, no the mailer did not come with what you've described. But in fine print, it says if that's what it takes to get you to vote early and often for Jim Lane, that's what you'll get.

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