Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Insomnia Caused By Scary Ugly Fat Women

I have been up since a bit before 3am. Today is my first morning of Newspaper Withdrawal following yesterday's cancellation of my Fort Worth Star-Telegram subscription.

I had a horrible nightmare and I could tell I was not going to fall back asleep. So, I got up. I think the nightmare was caused by yesterday's incident where I was chased by a pack of wild dogs at Oakland Lake Park.

In the nightmare the dogs morphed into 6 versions of a homely over-sized former acquaintance of mine who has temper control issues. In the nightmare I could not get away from the 6 grotesqueries yelling at me and chasing me like rabid dogs. They kept gaining on me. Seeing all that heaving flesh getting ever closer was horrifying. I knew they were going to eat me.

I woke up right after a giant fat hand grabbed me by the neck, pulling me towards an enormous head, sitting on top of a no-neck monster, with a huge open mouth. It is still causing a shudder when I think about it.

Looking for images to illustrate my nightmare horror, I Googled "ugly fat women." I am forever scarred by some of what I saw.

One link intrigued me, so I clicked on it. It was a forum with a thread the title of which is "Why are American women so fat and ugly?" I thought to myself, this guy is gonna get burned bad for bringing up such a subject.

Here's the initial post from a guy calling himself Mr. Money...

I can't help but notice American women are so fat and ugly compared to the rest of the women in the world. Also it seems American women have a lot of mental problems and are gold diggers. Has any other guy been outside America to see this? Maybe we can find out why American women are such fat pigs with no class, compared to say, European women, who are so beautiful?

To which someone replied...

They eat like it's goin' out of style, that's why.

To which Mr. Money replied...

No seriously...I have met many, many women from all over the world and they look and act like real ladies. American women are really screwed up! American women are fat, man-like creatures with an attitude to boot! I can't be the only one who notices! This needs to be brought to light...for the fat ugly American women's sake. Maybe there is some hope. I just did a quick check on the internet and found two really good websites that seem to ask the same question: AmericanWomenSuck.com and Nomarriage.com. As you can see, I am far from alone with wondering why American Women are effed up!!!

Those 2 links that Mr. Money supplied are pretty funny. Some of American Women Suck and No Marriage seemed somewhat reality based. However, others were not quite charmed by Mr. Money's point of view. Like this lady calling herself Whatidiots...

Mr. Money: I can't help but think, while reading your post, that someone as refined, intelligent, and sensitive as yourself could not help but attract the most fastidious and beautiful women. It must be hard to keep them off of you. Nothing attracts a beautiful intelligent woman more than a man denigrating women in general. Especially one with exceptional grammar, spelling skills, and the ability to spot a mental condition at ten paces. You, my dear sir, would be a fine catch for any woman and I'm sure that somewhere there is a thin, gorgeous woman with your name on her forehead. If only I were single I'd be walking the streets of Florida right now, searching high and low. Alas...

Okay, that's enough about Ugly Fat Women. I need to change the subject or it'll give me more nightmares if I'm ever able to sleep again...

4 comments:

  1. good blog :D
    I strongly agree with Mr. Money too. It's how I found this :).

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  2. Re: the second photo

    Isn't that a guy in a fat suit?

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  3. I had not thought about it, Anonymous, but I think you may be right.

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  4. I confess an abnormally healthy prejudice against obese people (I see as many -- if not more -- disgusting fat men, prolapsed bellies shelved over belts as I do fat female slugs intent on wearing tight leggings revealing every inch of dimpled fat paired w/a too-short top exposing bare white fat flesh.)

    From here on in let's call them all obese generics -- a BMI off the insurance charts precludes any speculation as to gender.

    What I find more frightening than dreams about being chased by obese aliens is the reality that in America fat has become not only acceptable, but fashionable (note the recent proliferation of fat models in Fat Zines and catalogues.

    They beget fat children.

    While you're pondering these phat issues of fat, note also the social incorrectness of saying anything prejudicial about it, including mounting health costs associated with obesity. We all pay that bill.

    La quenta, por favor!

    During my lifetime, I have been the target of prejudice as an American child in France, child of a large military family, being female in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, being the mother of an only child, being divorced, being a divorced working mother, being a smoker and, in particular these days, being an American.

    Very fat people have control issues for which I have not the patience nor the medical/psych background to deal with. They are childishly selfish people. They are dangerous.

    They are to be avoided.

    But I do believe I have the right not to be unnecessarily exposed to them in stores and restaurants. Seat me between two on a plane and I should have the right to fart and smoke the duration of the flight.

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