Alma, the Songbird of the South, currently singing down at Port Aransas on the Texas Gulf Coast, sends me the funniest stuff. Some people who send jokes and forwarded things they think are clever, should do some re-thinking. But Alma's stuff is like it's gone through the Alma Good Humor Filter and so it's always worth opening. Alma sent a record breaking amount of good stuff today; disturbing video, a disturbing history lesson, the Redneck Book of Manners, all sortsa good stuff.And then tonight Alma sent me an amusing thing about men. And how women really don't much need us. I'll copy and paste below...
For all those men who say, "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free"? Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage. WHY? Because women realize, "It's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage".
MEN ARE LIKE
1. Men are like Laxatives....They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas.....The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather....Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders....You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars....Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials....You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores.....Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds.....They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara....They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn.....They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms....You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps....Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding, good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!
2. Men are like Bananas.....The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather....Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders....You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars....Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials....You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores.....Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds.....They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara....They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn.....They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms....You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps....Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding, good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!
Now, see why I like Alma? She is such a good judge of character. And humor.
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