Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A Real Lulu

I just got a call from Lulu, in high umbrage mode, being pretty much incoherent. She just got back from her doctor who diagnosed her with Walking Pneumonia and prescribed all sorts of meds and an inhaler.

Last night Lulu somehow managed enough strength to write something in her Blog. But, she did not have the strength or presence of mind to realize she posted twice, the second one slightly different than the first.

When she called this morning I mentioned her double post. As she hacked away, likely blowing all sorts of bad stuff on her computer, she looked at her Blog and claimed to not see the double post. At great effort, on my part, I got her to focus long enough to see the extra post. Lulu then said she did not have the strength to fix it and asked if I would fix it for her.

And so I did. And when I fixed it I added the drawing of a sick person you see above. So, Lulu gets home from the doctors, and before she even takes her meds or sucks on her inhaler, she checks her Blog. She saw the drawing you see above and apparently this caused a major apoplectic fit. So, she called me demanding I stop whatever I'm doing and fix this at once. I told her to just go delete it herself. She claimed she couldn't figure it out. It would have taken way too long to help Lulu locate the delete button on her keyboard, so I just removed it myself.

Now, I guess I should be a bit more tolerant of Lulu's currently amped up eccentricity, what with her pretty much currently knocking on Heaven's Door. And it is not like I don't know she is extremely, almost pathologically, high maintenance. And it did give me something to blog about.

Speaking of Lulu's chronic illnesses. A few months ago Lulu and her first husband went to Maui. Lulu was sick when they left. He got sick there. It was the flu. They cut their vacation short, by what logic I've never understood. It would seem to be easier to be sick in a tropical paradise than in Tacoma in winter. So, Lulu had to push her so-weak-he-could-not-walk first husband through the airport in a wheelchair.

It is not known how many people Lulu and her first husband made sick by getting on a plane in such a contagious condition. They could easily have started an epidemic. Now that is something to get into a state of high umbrage over, sick people going out in public making other people sick. But to work yourself up to a state of upset over a little cartoon of a sick person, well, I really don't know what to say.

It is a wonderment to me that Lulu is not sicker due to what she eats when she's ailing. As in it is all chocolate derivatives. Primarily hot fudge sundaes, hot cocoa and s'mores. Lulu does not make her s'mores in the Girl Scout fashion over a fire. What she does is roast the marshmallow over the flames of her gas range top, sticking the marshmallow on a fork, getting it nice and toasty and then slapping it on graham cracker with a huge chunk of chocolate. I have seen this process repeated up to 6 times in one feeding.


To change the subject from Lulu, which is always a welcome relief, my Internet connection was uncooperative for a couple hours today. The problem was my router. It is so annoying to feel so dependent on something and to feel like it's such a major thing when you can't connect to the Internet. It's like some sort of addiction. I don't think it is healthy. And the trend line is ever worse. Like years ago when I went up north first thing I'd do was set up the computer wherever I was staying so I could do email and work on websites. Then about 4 years ago I started lugging a laptop with me, which is not easy, particularly switching planes involving long walks through an airport, carrying a big carry-on and the laptop. Or using the restroom facilities. Try standing at a urinal with heavy items hanging off your back and neck.

I flew north right after Katrina, leaving D/FW late, like 10pm. The plane was full, to my surprise. with Katrina refugees. I was seated next to a refugee mom and one of her kids. The two older kids sat behind us. They were heading to Bremerton to her sister's. We switched planes in Vegas. Previously this had always involved moving to a plane at most 2 gates over. This time the gate was way at the other end of the airport. And the moving sidewalks were not working. I'd asked if she'd like help getting to the next plane, not knowing we'd be hiking what seemed miles.

So, I was carrying my big backpack and my laptop and one of the kid's bags. I had one kid with me. He and I moved fast, got separated from the mom and the other kids. Went back and found them. They had to stop because the little girl had to throw up. Made it to the gate. Benefit of helping, she watched my stuff while I used the restroom facilities.

We got to Seattle at 3am. As soon as we landed I called Lulu (Oh Good God, we are back to Lulu) to make sure she was heading to get me. I got her voice mail. I helped the Katrina victims get to baggage claim, helped them get all their giant duffel bags. I had not reached Lulu and the refugee had not reached her sister.

Gradually the airport emptied til we were all alone, just me and the refugees. Finally Lulu called, said she'd slept through the alarm, that she was 20 minutes away. Eventually, after what seemed hours, Lulu drove up. I gave the Katrina refugee my cell number and told her to call if her sister did not show up. I took over driving from Lulu and drove to my sister's house in Kent. My sister was on vacation at Yosemite, the keys were hidden in the BBQ out back. Lulu drove away and I pretty much passed out from exhaustion, vowing to never travel with that damn laptop again.

I've been back 3 times since. With the laptop.

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