Monday, January 7, 2008

Coarse, Vulgar, Shameful & Shameless

I was watching that infamous 2004 Super Bowl half time show, 4 years ago, when for a fleeting second part of a breast was exposed, destroying western civilization as we knew it. I apparently blinked at the wrong moment and did not witness this assault on civilization until I viewed it via video downloaded from the Internet. When I finally saw the exposure I was pretty much non-plussed and perplexed as to what all the fuss was about. I mean, those Super Bowl halftime shows have been pretty tacky, bad and vulgar for years now, with occaisonal moments of okayness, like when U2 performed at the post 9/11 halftime. Paul McCartney's halftime show, post the boob exposure show, was tasteful, but, for the most part, the Super Bowl half time shows, both before and after Boobgate, have been pretty much embarrassing spectacles that cause one to wonder what those people in all those other countries supposedly watching think about it all. I'm guessing there is a lot of head shaking and remarks about American culture being so strange.

But, what gives me pause to ponder is if such a brouhaha could erupt over this singular moment of wardrobe failure, resulting in the banning of bare butts from network prime time TV, among other bannings, why are some of the shows on MTV and VH1 and others allowed? Yes, I know, MTV, VH1, HBO, Fox News...etc. are beyond FCC regulating, they are broadcast over cable, not the airwaves. But really, how many people saw their halftime boob exposure via a signal brought in through an antennae? Do you know anyone who gets their TV signal over the airwaves? I've not seen an antennae in decades.


What is worse? A boob exposure that few actually saw? Or something like MTV's Parental Control? Or check out another MTV gem, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, in which a bisexual Vietnamese migrant born in Singapore, now thoroughly Americanized, and not in the good ways one can become Americanized, searches for love among a group of guys and girls. Much hilarity and vulgarity ensues. Like going home to meet the prospect's parents. Texans can be particularly proud of Tila Tequila because when she left Viet Nam she went to Houston's Vietnamese area where she grew up, learning to be an American Texan---a Singaporean, Vietnamese, Texas, American. How could she help not ending up on MTV with that background? And don't get me started on VH1's I Love New York. This show is wrong in too many ways to count. The fact that it is VH1's top hit and that it continues to spawn sequels may be this year's most blatant indication that the apocalyptic end may be near.

Don't ask me why I know about these shows. Suffice to say I have a fascination with viewing metaphorical train wrecks. I can't look away.

Which leads me to the most appallingly pornographic show on TV. A show that bares things much more disturbing than the obvious disturbing sight of a bare breast. One of the top shows on TV. A show on the network known for having the highest quality shows, known as the Tiffany Network. Yes, I'm talking about CBS and its top show, CSI. A show that shows no bare breasts, but does show gruesome details of gruesome crimes in gruesome detail. All for your prurient viewing pleasure. Which is what makes it pornographic. But allowed by the FCC.

Now, me, perverse nature that I have, would much prefer to see dozens of bare breasts flopping on my screen than a single autopsied decapitated head. It would not bother me in the slightest to see a bare butt now and again on my TV screen, I really don't see the harm. I mean, a bare breast or a bare butt has rarely killed anyone or inspired someone to kill someone, as far as I know. Where a show like CSI is sort of like a guidebook on how to commit a gruesome crime. Yet somehow that escapes FCC scrutiny or the wrath of the ultra religious freaks.

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