Barbecue & Longhorns

I'm going to the Fort Worth Stockyards today. I think. It is very very cold out there, in the mid 20s now at 10am. Cold weather feels way colder in Texas than it used to feel up in Washington. The Stockyards should be well stocked with people today due to the Stock Show taking place in another part of town. I'm planning on taking video, hopefully of the Fort Worth Herd. The cows and cowboys should be on the move, even though it is cold.

It's been so cold I've been unwilling to go outside for any aerobic activity, so I'm starting to atrophy. And go stir crazy.

While at the Stockyards I had planned on going to Riscky's Barbecue for All You Can Eat ribs. Only $7.95 for the next 2 weeks. They are real messy, but you are supplied with a roll of paper towels. But Riscky's is fun only if you can Eat All You Can while sitting on a picnic table at their outside patio where you can watch herds of people, cows and horses walk by. By afternoon the prediction is a high of 45. I somehow don't think that will be a comfortable temperature for sitting outside eating messy barbecue ribs.

Yesterday's post about the Stephenville UFO has been getting a lot of kooks (Freudian slip, meant looks, not kooks) from all over the world. This morning someone from Hiroshima was looking at it. But it is the Russians, not the Japanese, who seem to be way too interested in the Texas UFO. Maybe it was a Russian military experiment gone awry.

Stephenville UFO Photo Evidence

UFO mania continues unabated here in Texas, almost as fervently as the post-mortem mourning over the recent Dallas Cowboys tragedy that has much of this region reeling. It is not known, at present, if the Stephenville UFO had anything to do with the Dallas Cowboy's loss in their first playoff game of this century or if Jessica Simpson is in anyway involved in either the Cowboy loss or the Stephenville UFO.

What we do know is a Kentucky truck driver snapped a photo of the UFO. You can see that above. Below, near the end of this post, you can see our exclusive seen only here photo of a UFO.

It has been reported that some Stephenville citizens have begun wearing aluminum foil helmets to protect their heads from potential UFO initiated death rays. Those who have seen the UFO report that it is a large silent cigar shaped object flying low and fast with lights of changing colors rotating counter-clockwise escorted by other objects that look like military aircraft, like helicopters.

Stephenville town secretary, Cindy Stafford has taken to wearing a green alien mask. One of the town's car dealers has put up a sign offering to make a deal on a UFO trade.

Media from around the world have descended on Stephenville including representatives of a Washington based UFO research group some members of whom think the government conspires to keep the UFO reality a deep, dark secret.

I snapped this UFO photo yesterday, not realizing til I saw the Kentucky truck driver's UFO photo that what I saw was not some sort of sun-related cloud phenomenon, but in actuality was an invading alien from a galaxy far away.

Size Matters Not

I am currently being vexed by about 300 email spams a day. The trend seems to be more and more of it. I’m vexed because it is annoying, I’m vexed because it takes time to deal with it, I’m vexed because it has caused me to miss email I wanted to see, I’m vexed because I don’t understand the underlying economics of the spam and I’m vexed at what most of the spam is selling. I mean, what is the motive? Who is sending this stuff? And why? Do some fools actually click on the spam links and actually buy stuff?

About 10% of the spam deals with trying to repair my bad credit, trying to get me a new mortgage, trying to end my chronic obesity, trying to get me to update a bank record at a bank at which I have no account, or fix my Ebay or PayPal accounts.

The other 90% of the spam deals with (I insert a warning here, the following may not be suitable for young readers even though this is not Family Day, read the ‘Startlegram’ post to get the Family Day reference), as I was saying, the other 90% of the spam deals with concerns about my most private of parts. There is concern about its size, with endless offers of ways to end my embarrassment regarding my most delicate of shortcomings. And then there is also a lot of concern about how well my most private of parts performs, with multiple offers of multiple ways of amping up my most private part’s performance to top notch performance standards that will meet the most exacting needs of the most critical of critics and have those on the receiving end singing my praises and recommend me to their friends, neighbors and co-workers.

What further vexes me is no one else I know gets these offers. How did the annoying spammers discover I am in need of this help? Who told them? Was it you? Well, it needs to stop. I have learned to live with all my various shortcomings and all my various performance problems and I’m not going to grow any bigger or perform any better at my ripe old age so just drop these attempts to fix me.

Not that I don’t appreciate the concern.

Wild Wild West

Last night the phone rang just as I was getting ready to go to Krogers to get a gallon of milk (skim, $3.50). It was Lulu. I put her on speaker phone so I could continue putting on pants and shoes. Lulu stayed with me as I left my place and headed to my van. These are like little virtual trips to Texas for Lulu, a world away from her idyllic paradise in the shadow of Mount Rainier.

As I drove into the Krogers parking lot I saw a Fort Worth police cruiser pulling in, lights flashing, siren blaring. As I got out of the van I saw the cop slowly approaching the store. As I got closer to the entry I saw a huddle of people around a woman, a slightly obese stereotypical Texas woman looking a tad unkempt. As the cop approached her she put up her arms in the position you see on TV when a cop puts on the handcuffs. Apparently she had had experience with the procedure. On the ground in front of the woman was a spilled grocery bag that seemed to have spilled out what looked like pharmacy type products.

Within a couple minutes I'd bought my milk and was exiting the store, still talking to Lulu. I'm quite the multi-tasker, able to talk on the phone while going through the self-checkout. When I stepped back outside I was surprised to see that the incident had escalated. There were now 5 polices cruisers with lights flashing, with an equal number of officers. There was a fire truck with firefighter emergency guys doing something to the woman who had wanted handcuffs that looked like some sort of tubing, as if she was on an intravenous drip. She was sitting on the ground, conscious, no handcuffs.

It was quite noisy and must have sounded dire and scary to Lulu who was screaming something along the line of "what sorta hell hole do you live in?" I explained it was not a hell hole, it was east Fort Worth, Fort Worth, known locally as Where the West Begins, with that wild west tradition held up regularly by incidents like the one last night at Krogers.

I was almost back to my van when I saw a MedStar ambulance drive by. I said to Lulu I think they called in an ambulance but it missed the entry. I saw it then turn around and head into the parking lot.

I saw nothing in the morning Star-Telegram about last night's incident. Just like I never saw anything about an incident of a couple days ago when I returned from hiking Tandy Hills Park to see 2 female cops, slowly making their way to a closed dry cleaner, guns at the ready, speaking into those shoulder communication devices you see on cop shows.

I've grown used to the occasional notice being put on my door telling me there has been yet one more armed robbery in the neighborhood, advising that caution be taken when out after dark. Since I've been in Texas I've happened upon one murder scene, after the fact, several murders have occurred in my neighborhood, including that nationally reported one of a few years back where a woman, I think it was a woman, ran into someone who got stuck in her windshield, so she drove home and parked in her garage and left the victim to slowly die. And then got rid of the body. I think, if I remember right, her defense was she was tired and didn't notice the man stuck in her windshield til a few days later.

I probably should get a gun and holster if I'm gonna keep living here. Or some mace. Can the general public buy tasers?

Fort Worth Stock Show & Rodeo

Click here for 2009 Fort Worth Stock Show
Rodeo & Parade Info

The Fort Worth Stock Show is currently open for business. The Stock Show is pretty much like a state fair only it's held in the depths of winter. It started off on Saturday with the world's biggest non-mechanized parade. That means there are no motorized vehicles pulling anything and a lot of horses making messes. I've been to the Stock Show Parade twice. It's an entertaining parade except for one slightly jarring note. That being that the parade route is not cleared of vehicles parked on the side of the road. So in many places along the parade route you share space with a car while trying to get a good look at what is passing by.

I've been to the Stock Show & Rodeo twice also. The first time being barely after moving here. We had rodeo tickets. I'd not gotten over my aversion to country music by that point in time and so the rodeo was pretty much torture for me. It's held in an ancient colisseum called the Will Rogers Memorial Auditorium. The Stock Show used to take place in the Stockyards, but for some unfathomable reason it was moved to Fort Worth's Cultural District. Yes, Fort Worth has so much culture an entire district had to be built just to contain it. The Fort Worth Stock Show & Rodeo runs from Jan. 11 to Feb. 3.

I highly doubt I'll go to the Stock Show this year. Last year's Stock Show Parade was cancelled due to an ice storm. Here in Fort Worth they call this Stock Show weather.

I did go to the latest State Fair of Texas. It's in Dallas. I'd gone to the State Fair once before and enjoyed it a lot. The second time, not so much. By 5pm I was tired of it and bailed. This year's State Fair of Texas seemed like it'd been taken over by car dealerships. It was a major turnoff. But I did get some good video of the Midway. Midway is State Fair Speak for carnival.

Click the play button twice to start the
video of the State Fair of Texas

Stephenville UFO

I was peacefully minding my own business sipping on some salubrious Tension Tamer tea, watching the remaining 3 Democrats debate in Las Vegas when my peace was rudely shattered by my cell phone's annoying ring. I then had to hunt down the phone and saw it was Lulu. All day long I had been plagued by incoming calls with the caller not I.D'd, saying only "private number". These calls came in about once an hour. I don't answer calls when I don't know who is on the other end. The 8th time this happened the caller left a voice mail. It was Lulu. I called her back. She'd somehow messed up her cell phone settings again.

Anyway, so Lulu called disrupting the undivided attention I had been paying to what had been a somewhat entertaining debate. Hillary was acting sort of macho tonight, while John Edwards almost had a teary moment to two. Barack Obama is very articulate.

Oh, back to the Lulu call. Her first husband had told her that UFOs were invading the Texas town of Stephenville. Lulu wanted to know if I was close to there and if I'd seen any UFOs. This was the first I'd heard of the UFO invasion. I told Lulu I would keep an eye on the sky. And then I tried to once more concentrate on the debate. But I couldn't. Those trivial issues those candidates were yammering about paled in comparison to the UFO invasion spectre Lulu had raised.

So, off went the TV and to the Internet I went, Googling "Stephenville UFO". And what to my surprised eyes did appear but link after link about the Stephenville UFOs. Stephenville is down in the Dinosaur Valley/Creationism Museum area. UFOs don't seem much of a stretch.

I'd put some links to the articles in this post but that's a lot of bother and you can just Google it for yourself. It's my bedtime.

Pedal Pushing

I pedaled the mountain bike trail at River Legacy Park today with Miss Brady. On the way to Arlington, while still in Fort Worth, east Fort Worth, on Meadowbrook Lane, stopped at a light, I looked up and was surprised to see the new Dallas Cowboys Stadium, the roof support arches clearly visible in the distance. So, apparently the new stadium will be visible from Fort Worth. I'm guessing you'd have to be up in one of the many tall skyscrapers in Dallas to be able to see the Dallas Cowboys Stadium from Dallas. Visible from the ground in Fort Worth, but not in Dallas, I'm assuming. I suppose I should drive over to Dallas to see if I can see the stadium lest I opine something erroneous. But that would be way too much bother so let's just assume you can't see the thing from the ground in Dallas.

Back to pedaling. Went just under 9 miles. It's fun to have someone to bike with. Since I've been in Texas that's been rare. When I first arrived in Texas a fellow Washington transplant known as Big Ed would go biking with me. But there was an incident each and every time, usually a flat tire. On the final bike ride with Big Ed he managed to come up with something quite novel to ruin the bike ride. Somehow while going up a short hill Big Ed got his baggy shorts hooked on one of his pedals. This ripped his shorts off him. He was not wearing underwear. Somehow, using his t-shirt and his ripped shorts, he was able to cover himself up enough to make it back to cover without getting an indecent exposure ticket.

And then there was this Texas native I met years ago, a west Texas boy, born and raised in some town named Bug Butt or something like that, out by Midlands/Odessa. I refer to this person as Gar the Texan. Had not heard from him in awhile, til recently. He's a Libertarian. Ran for Congress on the Libertarian ticket and lost. A couple years ago Gar the Texan married an ex-communist from the former East Germany. She may have been born after East Germany ceased being communist, so maybe she isn't an ex-communist. I'm almost 100% certain she's not a former Nazi.

Anyway, Gar the Texan got a mountain bike and roller blades and hiking boots. He'd never been on a hike before so I drove him to Dinosaur Valley and Turner Falls Park. Hiking he was able to do, for the most part, but biking and blading, not so good. He claimed to have health issues. Slight exertion did seem to quickly leave him wheezing for air and green of color. Which made little sense to me because he appeared to be in good shape, not overweight, except for carrying an excess load of hair on his head due to his unfortunately out of date (since fixed) Billy Ray Cyrus type mullet.

The first time I tried to bike with Gar the Texan was at Lake Grapevine on the Knob Hill Trail. We made it up one slight hill when his Southern Belle Beulah Routine kicked in. He pushed his bike back to my van after he recovered sufficiently to move.

The second bike incident was at Horseshoe Trails, also on Lake Grapevine. Gar the Texan did better this time til he lost control and flew over his handlebars, triggering a Major Beulah Attack. I got him stabilized on a bench and I pedaled back to my van so that I could rescue him and get him to an ER and then Krispy Kreme where he was able to eat enough doughnuts to stabilize his blood sugar.

The third bike attempt also went badly. I figured maybe paved trail would work better, so we parked at the Fort Worth Stockyards and pedaled the Trinity River Trail to downtown Fort Worth's Heritage Park. But I'd forgotten that there is a slight incline to get up to Heritage Park. Gar the Texan pushed his bike up the slight incline and then had a Beulah Attack. Heritage Park commemorates the founding of Fort Worth. Though Gar the Texan is a Texan, hence the name, it was not until he saw Heritage Park and read the signage that he realized Fort Worth had once been an actual fort. When he recovered that time he wanted to go to Hooters. With his health issues I thought Hooters would be way too stimulating so we went to Booger Red's and had Buffalo Butt Beer instead.

I only went roller blading one time with Gar the Texan. That did not go well at all. It was a nice paved trail by his house, smooth, easy to roll on. But he only made it a few wobbly feet before collapsing on a bench in full Beulah Attack Mode. After he recovered he wanted to go to Chili's and consume adult beverages to hasten his full recovery. So we did so and got subjected to listening to his barber discuss her problems with her roommate's love life. As far as I know this roller blading incident is the last time Gar the Texan did anything physical, other than getting married.

America's Team Post Mortem

Well, I said yesterday that I'd make note of anything goofy in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram regarding the Dallas Cowboys losing on their first step to the Super Bowl.

I am disappointed to report that I read nothing that even came close to the air-headed goofiness that I told you about on Saturday. The paper did have an entire section devoted to the disastrous sudden death of America's Team, with the big headline on the front page being "THEY'RE HISTORY".

The headline on one of the front page columns today is "TITLE HOPES WASTING AWAY--AGAIN--IN LOSERVILLE". In the column, the writer, Randy Galloway, did come up with a slight bit of goofy overwroughtness regarding Tony Romo in which Galloway wrote "Tell me again that what Tony Romo does with his personal life on his own free time should not be held against him. Tony is about to receive a harsh and negative lesson in the power of public perception. His otherwise harmless Mexico beach trip just became toxic. It will haunt him through the next season, if not forever."

In case you missed it, Terrell Owens, I think that's his name, covered the expenses for a short vacation in Cabo San Lucas for Tony Romo and a few of his friends, like Jessica Simpson. I really don't see what this has to do with the football team losing a game, but it's been an issue here ever since the tabloid's paparazzi got some pics of Tony and Jessica. Now Jessica Simpson is a sweet cute Dallas girl. It isn't like he was down in Mexico canoodling with someone unsavory like Britney Spears.

Reporters asking Terrell Owens about Tony Romo and the Mexico trip, after the game, apparently drove Mr. Owens to tears while he defended his quarterback.

The Cowboys did not play during the first week of the playoffs, apparently the team was told to relax, have fun. What was the guy supposed to do? Toss footballs every day to keep in shape for the big game? I would think going swimming with Jessica Simpson would be great training.

America's Team Toasted

Well, if you read my post, yesterday, about America's Team and the Fort Worth Star-Telegram's articles about how the Dallas Cowboy's success amped up pretty much the entire world, I guess you're likely as worried as I am that this shocking loss in the Dallas Cowboy's first playoff game will now likely push the world economy into that recession so many have been worried about. I'll share tomorrow whatever bizarre verbiage I see in Monday's Star-Telegram about the failure of the formerly presumed Super Bowl winners. On the bright side, Tony Romo can now canoodle to his heart's content with Jessica Simpson without upsetting the locals.

Startlegram

That's what the locals call the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. Startlegram. So, yesterday I verbalized my slight umbrage at the Star-Telegram's purple prose regarding America's Team: The Dallas Cowboys. I said something about how that paper regularly annoys me.

And then I got feedback via email from my Eyes on Texas website and the page I added yesterday about "America's Team" about my amusement at the articles in the Startlegram. A couple of the feedback emails asked what other examples of goofiness I've seen in that notorious paper.

Well.

Probably the worst was when downtown Fort Worth opened a food court called the Sante Fe Rail Market. The Star-Telegram turned Chamber of Commerce propaganda booster and repeated in article after article that this lame little market was the first public market in Texas, that it was modeled after Seattle's Pike Place Market and markets in Europe. Of course, being from the Seattle zone that set up some high expectations for me. When it opened I visited the Santa Fe Rail Market and webpaged what I saw. I could not believe a newspaper would so misrepresent something to this extent. Had no one on that paper been to Seattle? Did they not realize that some of their readers may have been to or were from Seattle and would know how ridiculous it was to say this little food court type thing was modeled after Pike Place? Even after this was pointed out to the Star-Telegram the erroneous propaganda continued to be repeated.

And then I found out that not only was this soon to fail lame thing not the first public market in Texas it wasn't even the first one in Fort Worth! It was as if no one on the Star-Telegram had even been to the Dallas Farmers Market, a location that actually does resemble Pike Place.

Let's move on to another example of what a bad newspaper this is.

A sporting goods store named Cabela's wanted to open a store in Fort Worth. Cabela's wanted tax breaks and other incentives. Cabela's PR told the powers that be in Fort Worth, including the Star-Telegram, that Cabela's would be the #1 Tourist Attraction in Texas. This was repeated ad nauseum in the Star-Telegram, which never once questioned the absurdity of the premise. One of their more idiotic columnists, I won't name him, suffice to say he shares a last name with a president who was killed in the big city to the east of here. The number of supposed 'tourists' at Cabela's ranged from 5 million to this bad columnist's high of 8 million. When I pointed out to him how absurd this was, via email, he told me I must hate business. So, Cabela's got its tax break, Fort Worth got snookered and Cabela's is now open and has performed so poorly there have been a lot of layoffs and they had to return incentive money to Fort Worth because Cabela's did not perform as advertised. And Cabela's has opened another store in Austin! Cabela's must have left that planned store out of the info they gave Fort Worth when conning them with the "Top Tourist Attraction in Texas" nonsense.

Another example of this irresponsible newspaper's knack for being a bit lacking with facts---River Legacy Park opened a new section of the park a couple years ago on the north side of the Trinity River. A new pedestrian/bike bridge connected the old trail with the new. The new trail added about 4 miles. The new trail and bridge was open and being used for months before the park declared it done. The Star-Telegram reported this by describing, wrongly, that a final mile of trail had been completed and opened connecting the River Legacy trails to 360. (360 is a highway that bi-sects the D/FW Metroplex). Now, I had already been pedaling to the end of this new trail for months. I knew it did not end at 360.

So, the very day after the Star-Telegram printed this false information, incorrectly describing the River Legacy Trail, I pedaled the new trail. At the end of the trail, at the 7 mile marker, there was a guy. He had jogged to the end. I stopped. He asked me how you get to 360 from there? He said he thought the trail went to 360. I asked him if he read that in the Startlegram. He said yes. I told him you can not trust what you read in that paper, that I highly doubted if they had any reporters who were sufficiently non lard assed enough to actually see a trail for themselves. This guy had told friends that he would be on an overpass on 360 when they returned from the airport. I let him use my cell phone to leave a message for his incoming friends.

Okay, I've got more of these type things in my memory bank, but it is time for Amazing Race.