Sunday, May 9, 2021

You Know You Are From Washington When You Have A Favorite Brand Of Cannabis Mayonnaise

On Facebook this morning I saw a Heinz or Hunts version of mayonnaise which contained cannabis. This later  disappeared from Facebook when I went to find the pot mayonnaise image for blogging purposes.

I thought I would make mention of this and ask anyone who might know, who lives in one of the free American states, like Washington, Oregon, Colorado,  Arizona, Alaska, and others I am not remembering right now, if such a product is now sold in grocery stores.

I Googled looking for the image of the Heinz or Hunts green colored product, to no avail. But, I found others.

Also Googled to learn there are now 16 states which have pretty much decriminalized the use of marijuana. Along with Washington, D.C.

When Washington the state legalized the sale of recreational marijuana products, one of my nephews sent me a package which contained mint chocolates infused with cannabis.

I am fairly sure sending such to one of the backward, repressive states is likely breaking some sort of law.

It is so strange how states can be so different. One state, with the population highly educated, with good schools, resulting in a progressive liberal population, while another state, with the population not so well educated, with the schools not having a good reputation, resulting in a repressive, conservative population.

I remember shortly before moving to Texas, being at a festival in Fremont, in Seattle.

Fremont declared its independence from the U.S. decades ago, claiming then to be the Free Republic of Fremont. I may have the name wrong.

After the collapse of the Soviet Union, Fremont acquired some communist era artifacts, like statues. All in good fun, but of the sort which would have ignorant right wing nut jobs ranting in other parts of America.

Like where I am now.

Anyway, I was at this festival in Fremont, it may have been the Summer Solstice Festival, the one which begins with the big naked bike ride, which I have never seen. So, Wanda and I are wandering around and we see this guy hawking hash brownies for $1. There was a policeman about 10 feet from the hash brownies guy, who had a steady stream of customers, which soon included me and Wanda.

Well, that was one tasty brownie and it made for a much more interesting Fremont Festival experience.

Point being, well before the product was legalized, a permissive tolerance policy was pretty much in play in Washington.

And then I moved to Texas, where the concept of a permissive tolerance policy has just way too many syllables for most Texans to understand.

Speaking of Washington, also on Facebook I saw a semi-amusing item credited to comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who, apparently, now lives somewhere in Washington and who has lived there long enough to make the following observations about living in Washington...

1. If someone in a Lowes/Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Washington.

2. If you've worn shorts, flip-flops and a warm-jacket at the same time, you live in Washington.

3. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington.

4. If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington.

5. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington.

6. If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Washington. (That is “if” you have “AC”)

7. If you can drive through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Eastern Washington. If you live in Western Washington and can’t drive through 2” of snow and are in a ditch or have stalled out in the middle of the road, you are now pissing off all those who migrated from Eastern Washington to Western Washington, who now regret their choice. 

8. If you get your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Washington.

9. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with leaves, mud or ice, you live in Washington.

10. If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington.

11. If you feel guilty throwing bottles, cans or paper in the trash, you live in Washington.

12. If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Washington.

13. If you know more people who own boats than have air conditioning, you live in Washington.

14. If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Washington.

15. If you consider that if it has no snow on it (with the exception of the recently erupted), it’s not a ‘real’ mountain, then you live in Washington.

16. If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Tullys, you live in Washington.

17. If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Washington.

18. If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Snoqualamie, (he misspelled Snoqualmie) Wenatchee , Spokane , Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, (the Willamette is a river in Oregon. When my mom and dad moved from Washington to Eugene, where I was born, they were giggled at due to mis-pronouncing the name of the river which runs through Eugene as Willa-meetee), you live in Washington.

19. If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Washington.

20. If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai food, you live in Washington.

21. If you go camping with a tarp, scotch guarded cloths and waterproof matches on you, you live in Washington.

22. If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Washington.

23. If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you definitely live in Washington.

24. If you buy new sunglasses every single year because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, then you live in Washington.

25. If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Washington friends, you live or have lived in Washington.


Now I am off to Amazon to see if I can order some Cannabis Mayonnaise. One would think if such is available it would be on Amazon, what with Amazon being headquartered in Seattle...

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