Saturday, May 9, 2020

Wholotta Takeout Not Muy Bueno In Wichita Falls

About a month into the COVID-19 lockdown I went along with doing what many recommended doing, as in supporting a shuttered restaurant by getting a takeout order to go.


I do not remember if I have made mention before of the restaurant aversion I developed after watching too many Kitchen Nightmare episodes.

That and my first ever case of food poisoning happened after a burger at a cafe on the Parker County courthouse square. It was that poisoning episode which enlightened me as to what the term "projectile vomiting" meant.

Now, I have had the pleasure of enjoying many Texas restaurants since that food poisoning incident happened. But, til this Coronavirus thing happened I had not eaten at a Wichita Falls restaurant since I moved to town.

I think it was early on reading in the Facebook Wichita Falls Rants & Raves page a posting about cockroaches infesting a local Sonic Drive-In that made me wary.

Totally irrational, I know, but I really do prefer my own cooking, or the home cooking of someone I trust, particularly in Texas. I could not name all the Arizona restaurants I have been subjected to the past few years. Most of those have been franchise chains, except for Fiesta Burrito in Scottsdaale, and Big Wa Chinese in Tempe. Both excellent, with no Kitchen Nightmare issues.

So, the first of my COVID takeout experiences had me driving the crew through the McDonald's drive through and ordered a lot of cheeseburgers. I have always liked McDonald's cheeseburgers. I do not know why. Maybe they have always reminded me of a Kow Korner cheeseburger. Only Skagitonians will get the Kow Korner reference.

For the second takeout week I agreed to phone in an order to a Mexican restaurant, non-franchise, which is a stone's throw from my abode. Prior to the lockdown this restaurant was always real busy, and I figured it had to be real good, that the locals were likely excellent judges of good Tex-Mex.

Well. Worst Mexican food ever. Horrible. The big bag the food was stuffed in was a mess of containers. My choice was Lunch Combo #1, because it included a chile relleno, my go to favorite Mexican food, and by which I judge a Mexican restaurant. Blindfolded I would not have been able to guess this was a relleno. Disgusting is not a strong enough word to describe it. And nothing else in the combo was good either. Horrible taco, stale chips, dried out rice, runny beans. Horrible.

So, the next week I did not give the crew a choice. It was the McDonald's drive through or I opt out.

And that takes us to this week's takeout woe. One of the crew had an advertisement which advertised something called a Wholotta Box, from a chain restaurant called Taco Bueno. I don't think this is a national chain. I looked at the advertisement advertising fresh ingredients, special recipes and the photo of the Wholotta Box looked okay.

So, I drove the crew through the Taco Bueno drive through, ordered two Wholotta Boxes, and then drove to Lucy Park to have lunch at a covered picnic table overlooking the Wichita River.

I sat a Wholotta Box on the picnic table, opened the box, and saw that which you see above. Extremely blah tacos, extremely blah bean burritos, containers of rice, re-fried beans, salsa and bags of chips. The salsa was okay, the chips were stale. All in all it was a Wholotta awful.

And so this week I am not gonna be democratic with the takeout choice. It will be where I wanna drive to takeout, or I don't drive to takeout anything.

On a lighter note, after a Wholotta aggravation, a long walk along the Wichita River put me in a Wholotta better mood.

That is the Wichita River you see on the right, with the color of the river pretty much the same color as the trail though the Lucy Park forest, which explains where the river color comes from.

A Wholotta land must regularly be eroded to to provide the Wichita River its signature color...

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