Thursday, July 14, 2016

Polluted Public River Floating Is One Of Fort Worth's Great Imaginary Success Stories

That which you see here is not a guy fishing in a dirty brown river.

What you see here is a guy testing water in a dirty brown river near the location of the notorious Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats at an imaginary pavilion at an imaginary island in the great success story known as Fort Worth.

The photo of the guy testing the Trinity was part of a Bud Kennedy article in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

I came to be looking at this July 1 Star-Telegram article after someone named Anonymous  made an anonymous  blog comment...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Are America's Biggest Boondoggle's Bridges Dust In The Wind":

You might have missed this gem from the bloated face of Fort Worth journalism:

Here’s the straight poop on that muck in the Trinity last week

The river’s makeover into a busy downtown tubing-kayaking attraction is one of Fort Worth’s great success stories.
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Now, that is just rude to refer to Bud Kennedy as the bloated face of Fort Worth journalism.

I agree with Bud Kennedy more often than I don't.

But, sometimes I don't understand how Bud Kennedy can type with a straight face some of which he types. I always assume he knows what he is typing is ridiculous and internally giggles. Or that he is just a big fan of creating ridiculous propaganda.

"The river’s makeover into a busy downtown tubing-kayaking attraction is one of Fort Worth’s great success stories."

A river makeover? Nothing has been done to that river that anyone would call a makeover. Some sand has been sprinkled to create a pseudo beach, and a couple outhouses have been installed on the south side of what is bizarrely called Panther Island Pavilion. Where there is no pavilion. But there is a small covered stage on the north side of the river.

A busy downtown tubing-kaying attraction?

Attraction? Busy?

Are you attracted to that attraction? I know I never have been, nor has anyone I've talked to. I've long opined that it is a sad indicator, and should be viewed as such, that Fort Worth is badly lacking in the outdoor water sport venues department. Thus so many people willing to get wet in that dirty river at that location.

Has Bud Kennedy partaken of the tubing-kayaking attraction? I know he likes to participate in local events.

And finally, the river's imaginary makeover is "one of Fort Worth's great success stories."?

One of Fort Worth's great success stories? I'm really not trying to be unduly snarky here, but I really can not come up with a single Fort Worth success story. And can not imagine characterizing those sad river floating events at that imaginary island as a success.

Really, I'm serious here, I can not think of anything that I might characterize as a great Fort Worth success story.

Having the #1 tourist attraction in Texas, via the Cabela's sporting goods store? Is that one of Fort Worth's great success stories? Nope. That one did not work out, despite the Star-Telegram, and especially Bud Kennedy's, touting it as such.

Having more wells fracked than another other city in the world? Is that one of Fort Worth's great success stories?

Having more outhouses in its city parks than any other big city in America, is that one of Fort Worth's great success stories?

Having fewer streets with sidewalks than any other big city in America, is that one of Fort Worth's great success stories?

Please, someone help me out here, what in the world could Bud Kennedy be referring to when he refers to Fort Worth's great success stories?

Read all of Bud Kennedy's Here’s the straight poop on that muck in the Trinity last week piece and see how many ridiculously absurd propaganda items you can find.

Of course the polluted river floating being one of Fort Worth's great success stories is my favorite Orwellian bit of propaganda.

Another gem is this paragraph....

Panther Island is one of the cleanest parts of the river. It has been safe to swim, tube, raft or boat there most of the past year, but only boating or rafting is allowed along the Clear Fork stretch near Trinity Park or near South University Drive.

The embarrassing Panther Island nomenclature really needs to be put to rest.

What does that "Panther Island is one of the cleanest parts of the river" statement even purport to mean?

The chunk of land The Boondoggle identifies as Panther Island is dry land. The Trinity River is not nicknamed "Panther Island".

Or did I miss that memo?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Remember all those floats they had when they didn't test the water? Thank goodness for people like Mary Kelleher. And please, no pics of Bud in the river. Our eyes are still burning.

Jensational said...

BRAVO, Durango!!

Landslide said...

Most, no, probably all residents of Fort Worth would be aghast at the cost of being able to go tubing in the Trinity. You may recall that the reason for the Trinity River/Central City/Panther Island ONE BILLION DOLLAR (plus) vision in the first place was to allow people to get back to the river which they've allegedly been trying to do for decades. So this is quite a success story after all because now, in keeping with spending over $300 million of your tax dollars (so far), you can now access the polluted river for tubing. Impressive, indeed.