Saturday, November 29, 2014

Yesterday I Found A Long Lost Treasure Of Texas Bashing

Recently, if I remember right, I made mention of the fact that Google in the past few days has caused me to open every webpage that exists inside my domain.

I did not realize, or remember, that some of those webpages are well over a decade old, with me having little memory of making them.

One of those webpages is titled Texas Bashing.

I do not remember how or by what means, but somehow I solicited comments bashing and counter-bashing Texas. Why would anyone have found this webpage bashing Texas and then react with comments?

Even stranger, apparently at some point the Texas Bashing website was used by another website, called, in an article about bashing Texas. People then reacted with comments to the article, which I then added to the Texas Bashing webpage. Clicking on I found that website no longer exists, and so I did not turn it into an active link.

Below are a few examples of comments on the Texas Bashing webpage. On the Texas Bashing webpage I add my own comment to each comment. I can tell by my counter comments that early on in my adjustment to the culture shock of Texas I was much harsher in my opinionating than I am nowadays, well over a decade later...

I've lived in Texas (Austin, arguably "not really Texas") for six years. In Texas, you can buy Texas-shaped pasta, Texas-shaped tortilla chips, and Texas-shaped cheese in any grocery store. If you market beer or trucks in Texas, chances are your jingles appeal to Texas pride and have the word "Texas" in it at least five times. I don't know of any other state that's so insular and into itself. As somewhat of an outsider, I find it fascinating. Can you buy food products that come in the shape of your state? (Colorado and Wyoming, you don't count.) This is not a rhetorical question, I really want to know.


Where I grew up (Oklahoma), Texas-bashing was a favorite pastime. Why do people like to insult Texas? Because the average Texan will happily tell everyone they meet that "we're the only state that was once a separate country". Like that's something to be proud of? We also didn't appreciate being considered 'North Texas' by a lot of people (especially Texans).

Plus what may be my favorite comment...

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God," and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused. God explained,  pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Texas, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling plains. The people from Texas are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known all throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace," Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "what about balance, God? You said there would be balance!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the crazy bunch I'm putting next to them in Louisiana.

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