Monday, August 18, 2014

Today I Learned I Would Rather Die Than Move From Artistic Fort Worth To Dallas

A blogging yesterday resulted in an interesting comment from someone with the gender neutral name of Anonymous...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "A Stormy August Sunday In Texas With Lightning Strikes, Thunder Booms & Wandering Birthday Cards":

Fort Worth, the tiny burg of family, food and Frogs and their fatuous fixation with Dallas:

10 Fort Worth Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

The link in the Anonymous comment went to a webpage on some sort of real estate entitie's website with that webpage listing 10 supposed Fort Worth Stereotypes. The list had a lot of typos and even more dubious claims, but, all in all, I found it amusing.

You can click the 10 Fort Worth Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate to read all ten stereotypes, plus some very amusing comments.  Below I have gleaned 8 of the 10 stereotypes, followed by me commenting about each stereotype and then some of the more choice comments....

1. Fort Worthers Would Rather Die Than Move To Dallas

Call Fort Worth a suburb of Dallas and, if looks could kill, you’d be dead in a Texas second. The only thing the two cities have in common is an airport that shares their names.

I currently live in Fort Worth. I would not rather die than move to Dallas. I like Dallas. Dallas reminds me of Seattle, except for the lack of scenery in Dallas.

3. Everyone In Fort Worth Is Fiercely Loyal To Kincaid’s Hamburgers

Kincaid’s is widely considered to be the best bite in Fort Worth and, dare we say it, possibly the entire Dallas Metroplex area. People in the Fort have enjoyed double cheeseburgers with everything and lemonades for generations.

Okay, in the number 1 stereotype the claim is that calling Fort Worth a Dallas suburb can get you a killing look, while in the #3 stereotype we refer to the "entire Dallas Metroplex area"?  Not Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex Area? Kincaid's is widely considered the best bite in Fort Worth? And all of D/FW? I have had two Kincaid's burgers during my over a decade stay in D/FW. I was not impressed. Not at all.

4. Fort Worthers Are All A Little Horny… When It Comes To Horned Frog Football, That Is

In Fort Worth they know to Fear the Frog and the will convince the rest of the nation just how intimidating they are the only way they know how—by fighting until hell freezes over then fighting on the ice.

Fort Worthers? The above contains a couple of the aforementioned typos. Convince the rest of the nation to fear the Fort Worth Frog? Really? I really hate to be the bearer  of sad tidings, but I  don't think the rest of the nation pays much attention to Fort Worth football.

5. People Here Are A Whole Different Breed Of Racing Fans

The Texas Motor Speedway is one of many badges of honor that Cowtowners take very seriously. Racing pride is all over town. You can find local’s favorite driver on bumper stickers, in windows and liberally applied across all apparel.

Fort Worth's racetrack is one of many badges of honor? Really? What are the other badges of honor? Cowtowners take their racetrack very seriously? With racing pride all over town? I have never noticed this racing pride all over town. The local's have a favorite driver? On their bumper stickers, windows and clothes? I am sure I would have noticed such a thing if it existed.

6. People From Fort Worth Are Fortified Authentic Texas

Talking to folks around Fort Worth is like taking a step into a time machine and waking up in the good old days when being down to earth friendly was standard and politeness was a virtue.

If the above is a subtle way of saying Fort Worth is a bit backwards, I guess I can agree with that stereotype.

7. Fort Worth Is Full Of Dare Devils

For all their laid-back qualities, Forters are as wild and untamed as the Western roots they hang their hats on. “Hey watch this” may as well be their motto because it gets dropped on the daily.

Forters? Again a typo renders the above a bit confusing. The only Fort Worth dare devils I can think of are those foolish enough to get wet in the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle's Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats.

8. And They’re Real Ropers

School is closed during the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo, not to pay tribute to all the hard-working cattle wranglers, but because otherwise everyone, faculty included, would be absent anyway. The event is legendary and every year about the time that talk of the last ride starts dying off the countdown for next year begins.

School is closed during the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo? Who knew? I really don't think this stereotyping stereotyper has actually been to the Fort Worth Stock Show if he or she actually thinks it to be anything legendary. While the State Fair of Texas, in Dallas, now I can see where one might, maybe, legitimately attach the legendary label to that event.

9. People In Fort Worth Are All Artists At Heart

Fort Worth boasts one of the world’s largest epicenters of the arts, and that is something that wouldn’t be possible without a huge community of avid art enthusiasts. Whether it’s frequenting the five iconic museums in the heart of the Cultural District or experiencing art first-hand at the Main Street Fort Worth Arts Fest, people in the Fort take supporting the arts to a whole new level.
Oh yes, I have seldom seen a big city with more of an artistic aesthetic than Fort Worth. Just look at the beautiful way Fort Worth landscapes the exits from its freeways, like the exits to the Fort Worth Stockyards, for instance. I really don't think any other big city in America landscapes exits to its tourists attractions in such an attractive manner as Fort Worth.

Then there is Heritage Park at the north end of downtown Fort Worth. That park is really representative of the Fort Worth artistic aesthetic.

Fort Worth boasts one of the world's largest epicenters of the arts? Why is this valuable information being kept from the rest of the world?

Five iconic museums? Again, I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but the only thing in Fort Worth which remotely approaches being iconic, as in recognized elsewhere, is the Fort Worth Stockyards sign, which sort of clues people in other parts of the world that this is in Fort Worth, due to the town's name being on the sign.

Five iconic museums? I doubt 95% of Fort Worth natives could name five of Fort Worth's museums. Let alone the rest of America.

And now, some of the amusing comments....

Someone said, "And y'all forgot Amon Carter's famous quote: Fort Worth is where the West begins, and Dallas is where the East peters out! :)"

To which someone else replied, "Amon Carter was provincial and ignorant and kept his head in the sand in Fort Worth."

Regarding Fort Worth burgers someone said, "Kincaids sucks. You guys have it wrong on that. And while it's way better than mcdonalds, it is substandard compared to several other places in town. Rodeo Goat may be new, but it is by far the best burger in Cowtown. And if you want a traditional burger at a long time FtW institution, look no farther than Fred's Burgers, much better atmosphere there as well."

A former Fort Worthian said, "I left Fort Worth in 1970. I now live in Dallas. I am always baffled by the hateful things people from Fort Worth say about Dallas. Natives from Dallas don't say such hateful things about Fort Worth. Fort Worth folks seem to have an inferiority complex. I doubt that I would ever move back to Fort Worth. I have friends in Fort Worth who turn their noses up at me when I say I live in Dallas. Some even refuse to visit, because I "defected" from Fort Worth. Fort Worth is a nice place to visit, but Dallas has so much more to offer. I don't think most residents of Dallas think there is much of a contest."

Another commenter had another comment about burgers, racing and football, "#1 is true. Kincaid's hamburgers are tough and overcooked. Charlie's burgers are much better. I don't know a single person that has ever roped a bull. We're not all stuck in the past, there are no more daredevils here than anywhere else, NASCAR is stupid, and TCU football sucks. Other than those things, great list. Thanks for perpetuating an ignorant series of stereotypes."

And then, regarding what to call the natives, "We are not "Fort Worthers", we are "Fort Worthians." Other than that, no real complaints."


Steve A said...

Re: TMS - if you think Fort Worth is proud of it, try to take The T to it or even to Alliance Airport (you know it as the place across the freeway from the Cabela's tourist attraction).

Durango said...

Had not occurred to me, Steve A, the bizarre fact that Fort Worth's renowned public transit system, known as The T, does not transit itself to the #1 tourist attraction in Texas, or the racetrack that everyone in Fort Worth is so proud of....