Saturday, August 17, 2013

Have A Happy Wedding Wishes To Gar The Texan & Miss De Pew

In the picture you are looking at Gar the Texan and his soon to be new wife, Lisa De Pew, holding up their license to wed.

I do not know if Lisa De Pew is the soon to be new wife's real name or stage name. Sounds French to me.

My sources tell me that this soon to be new wife is an authentic, certified, English speaking American, with a pronounced Idaho accent.

Being from Idaho Lisa would likely have really liked it when Gar the Texan had a Pocatello-doo, which is what is called a mullet in Texas and elsewhere, which many believe was invented in Pocatello, Idaho around the time Gar the Texan was born.

It takes a long time for fads to migrate all the way to Texas, particular little towns in West Texas, which is why Gar the Texan was sporting a Pocatello-doo well into this century, long after the mullet fad had died in the non-hinterlands.

Last night the Queen of Wink and I were discussing the important issue of Gar the Texan's soon to be new wife and we both agreed that this match seems to have a better chance of succeeding than the previous match, what with this soon to be new wife speaking English and being older than 18.

How many wives Gar the Texan has actually had has been a rather open, confusing debate. The number ranges from 3 to 7.

I believe the confusion comes from counting the common law wives in with the state sanctioned lawfully wedded wives. I am almost 100% certain there have been only 2 state sanctioned lawfully wedded Gar the Texan wives, with Miss De Pew becoming the 3rd state sanctioned lawfully wedded Gar the Texan wife.

It speaks to the quality of Gar the Texan's kind, forgiving nature that all of his ex-wives, both common and state sanctioned, are expected to be in attendance at today's ceremony.

Well, it's about time to put on a white shirt and a black tie and head to Cowboy Stadium for the big event....

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