Sunday, November 1, 2009

Gar The Texan Is Drinking Wine In Milan Italy At McDonald's

Gar the Texan travels the world looking for unique McDonald's. I limit my search for unique McDonald's to North America. The world is just too big for me.

Gar the Texan is currently in Milan, Italy. Milan is one of the fashion capitals of the world. I think Gar may be in Milan to show off his latest fashion line, in addition to looking for unique McDonald's. Or it might be something else. Gar the Texan is like some sort of secret agent. You really never know what he's doing.

Maybe he's on the search for a new wife again. I read somewhere he'd lost his spark with one of his wives. I think it's the current one that's gone spark-free, but I'm not sure. It is hard to remember these things.

Since he's been in Milan, Gar the Texan has befriended several of the locals and they have been taking him to various wine distributing locations where some excessive imbibing has gone on, at least judging from some of the semi-incoherent blogging I've been reading coming out of Italy.

During one of his wine empowered Milan wanderings, Gar the Texan found his way into some sort of mall that is designed to look like a cathedral. Or maybe it was an old cathedral, turned into a mall. The mall is cross or T-shaped, with faux marble floors and high ceilings, hence the cathedral-like reference.

Gar wrote something about an old lady living in an abode above the cathedral mall, who likely still lives there because Italians don't know about the democratic capitalist concept of using eminent domain to take people's property. In his wine infused stupor Gar used imminent instead of eminent to attach to domain.

So, Gar the Texan was wandering around in this mall, looking for more wine, when he came to the center of the cross, or the cross of the T. On one corner there was a Prada store, the opposite corner, a Louis Vuitton store, another corner another upscale store. And in the 4th corner there was the latest addition to Gar the Texan's collection of the World's Most Unique McDonald's.

I do not know if Gar the Texan found the wine he was seeking in the Milan McDonald's. Or if he got a Big Mac. Or what. He leaves out a lot of details.

12 comments:

Cheap Tricks and Costly Truths said...

I'm easily distracted...I never made it past Gar's first picture! Nice McDonalds.

Durango said...

I was shocked at how much Gar looked like a real woman with humongous boobs in that picture.

Gar said...

I didn't eat at McDonald's. I know that they all taste the same. They just look different.

Details tend to slip by when you are suffering through hotel induced Internet crappiness.

As does imminent research.

Jovan Gonzales said...

That is too awesome. I wonder if Gar (haha) has been to the McDonald's across from the Virgin Mobile Megacenter on the Champs-Elysees? It's amazing. They have a chandelier and faux marble floors! There's a giant glass wall o' burgers, too. They all have celebrity names; I think they pretty much have any burger imaginable. Oh man, they ways I pass my time...ha!

Durango said...

Jovan---Gar is not allowed in France, so he's not been to the McDonald's on the Champs-Elysees.

Gar---Not all McDonald's have the same menu items. Go in a New Delhi McDonald's and you'll see what I mean.

Gar said...

Damn. Another incident of poor Internet connectivity.

If I had been more verbose, I would have said, "all similar menu items taste the same".

A "Quarter Pounder" has obviously been renamed to "Royal".

There are not Barbecue Rib Sandwiches outside USA (perhaps Texas).

Durango said...

Gar---You seem to be using poor Internet connectivity to explain away just about anything. If I remember Pulp Fiction correctly, it is a Whopper at Burger King that the French rename as something Royal. You can get a McRib in Canada. But then again, I should defer to your more informed opinion, since you search for unique McDonald's all over the world, while I limit my search to a 200 mile radium.

Jovan Gonzales said...

Gar really can't go to France? I'm having a hard time believing that. If that's the case, then his collection will never be completed as France has many interesting, unique McDonald's restaurants. Sad.

According to Wikipedia (which is not always accurate), you cannot get the McRib outside of the US, Japan, and Hong Kong. Random.

AT: 'Dango, Radium is an element, not a distance!

Gar -- I'm with 'Dango on this one, I'm not seeing how you could use the poor connectivity excuse so often! :P Last time I was in Italy, I had no problem with finding lots of places to steal or use the internet, lol.

Durango said...

Jovan---I am almost sure I had myself a McRib at the McDonald's that floated out on False Creek at Expo 86 in Vancouver, B.C. Then again, my memory is so messed up I can't tell an element from a distance. If I remember right Gar did something at the Euro Disneyland, or whatever they call it, that got him sent immediately back to America. And banned for life from France. It likely involved liquor, nudity and a medical emergency.

Jovan Gonzales said...

LOL. McDonald's did have them everywhere, but they didn't sell ... that's why they disappear and then they bring them back as a "limited time offer" kind of thing.

Hahahahaha @Gar. I really hope that's the real story, that's too good to not be. I didn't even know you could be banned from a country. New life goal. Last time I checked, liquor, nudity and medical emergencies sounded like a great spring break to me!!!

Gar said...

No comment on the banning.

D, you need to watch Pulp Fiction again. He said, "They have the metric system in Europe, they don't know what a Quarter Pounder is. It's the Royal with Cheese". He went on to say, "I don't know what they call the Whopper, I didn't go into no Burger King."

Durango said...

G---One would think I would have remembered the amusing "I didn't go into no Burger King" line.