Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Are You Mad At Me? Why Don't You Call?

Awhile back my mom, who I call whenever I get gas to tell her how much it currently costs, told me my sister wanted my mom to ask me what she'd done that had me mad at her.

I asked mom why my sister thought I was mad at her.

My mom said she thinks that because you don't call her anymore.

To which I said, but she never calls me, I'm always the caller, but I don't think she's mad at me due to not calling me.

The psychology of this perplexed me. So, I called my sister and asked her why she was mad at me. Why do you think I'm mad at you my sister asked? Because you never call me, I said.

I don't call because I'm afraid I'd be interrupting something, she said.

If it was interrupting something I wouldn't answer, I said.

Again, the psychology perplexes me.

Now, I have some people who call me all the time. I don't always answer. If they didn't call me I wouldn't think it was because they were mad at me. I have at least one person who no longer calls me due to being irrationally upset with me. But I don't miss those daily phone pesterings.

My biggest sister never calls me. I used to call her about once every couple weeks. But when I was up in Washington a couple years ago her behavior so appalled and annoyed me that I did not call her til about a month before I flew up there in July. Her behavior had not improved this most recent time up north. I wonder if my biggest sister accurately perceived that the lack of calls indicated I was not happy with her?

Probably not. These relatives of mine seldom seem to get anything right.

So, my new way of thinking is I'm assuming anyone who does not call me is mad at me. Why they would be mad at me is a mystery. I won't be calling any of them, well, except for my mom's gas calls. So, they can assume, accurately or not, that I am mad at them.

Oh, I'll likely call my sister who lives in Phoenix. She's a good phone talker. And it's not like she absolutely never calls me. She calls whenever a family friend or relative dies. And she called the morning of August 20 to ask how happy I was to be heading back to Texas. She'd also endured a long stay up north that coincided with part of my stay. We empathize with each other's pains.

However, my Phoenix sister's visiting up north pains are much less painful than mine. She's thinking of going up there again, soon. I don't plan a return to the northwest until 2018 at the earliest.


@li said...

OMG your family sounds like a soap opera. Loved the personal blog.
Called last week-end. Did not wanna leave a message after the beap. Maybe cause I was busy?
And yes mad cause you diden`t return my call.

Hugs, @li

Anonymous said...

Durango-you have not called me-so the fact you really do not know me is mute-as it seems you are just mad at me-I am crushed!!

Durango said...

Dear Anonymous----
I will call you just as soon as I have your number. Which doesn't mean I'm not mad at you. I just don't like seeing anyone crushed.