A couple nights ago at my local neighborhood Krogers, that's a grocery store for you who live in non-Krogers zones, an armed robber waved his gun and instructed the store's on-duty cop and all the customers in the self-checkout area to lay down on the floor, face down, with their hands behind their back. The robber forced an employee to open a safe. There was 50 dollars inside. Only 50 dollars. It was past midnight. The thief escaped into the night while all the victims ran out the back of the store, calling 911 as they ran. As of today, the armed robber remains at large.
This letter is to notify you of criminal activity that has been reported in the immediate area. Two unknown young black males dressed in dark hoodies are approaching people with a black gun & yellow pistol grips demanding wallets, cash, jewelry, cell phones or anything of value. They approach the victims while they are on foot, walking from a car to a breezeway while walking alone. The criminal activity has been reported on Oakland Hills Drive, Ederville Road, Brentwood Stair Road, Boca Raton Blvd. and Pacific Place."
Basically I am doomed.
I can't wait to get me one.