The Eye of God & The Super Bowl

It is Super Bowl Sunday. So I won't be going to church today.

Speaking of the Buckle of the Bible Belt, there is an ongoing debate here, played out in letters to the editor in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and other places, regarding the relative validity of the concept of evolution and creationism, or as I prefer to call it, cretinism. Now, despite the fact that I think it is ridiculous to believe that the earth and all that lives here magically appeared about 6000 years ago, it seems almost equally ridiculously to believe that all life, in all its various forms, somehow magically evolved from the primordial ooze into all its amazing current day wonders, like humans and lobsters and elephants.

What I do know for a fact is I have no real clue to what the truth is, well, except for being fairly certain that the cretinism belief system is pretty much an ignorance based faith, like being a Conservative Republican.

So, this Sunday morning among the several letters to the editor regarding the cretinism/evolution debate was the most amusing one yet. I'll copy it below and then continue with my personal spewing.

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As proponents of intelligent design go on and on about the “logic” of their belief, I thought I’d use their line of reasoning to put forth my own proposal.

Like the intelligent design people, I’ll ignore the mountains of evidence and proof put forth by the various sciences, except where it suits my needs, while fixating on minor, unresolved details, (such as how the Neanderthals died off), as flaws in the theory of evolution and science in general.

Then I’ll fall back on their favorite: “You can’t prove me wrong, so I have to be right,” which is an attempt to ignore the requirement of testable evidence that is the basis of science.

Using the creationists’ line of reasoning, I now conclude that humans, and everything else, are too complex to be explained, especially if we avoid empirical evidence and proof.

Therefore, I conclude that we are in truth and fact blueberry muffins dreaming that we’re humans, and everything else is part of that dream.

Now that I’ve shown the world the truth and demonstrated that I’m using the same line of reasoning as the creationists, the Blueberry Muffin Truth must go into those science textbooks if intelligent design is allowed.

It should also be understood that, in accordance with the intelligent design system of reasoning, you’re not allowed to ask who baked us, or who made the maker.

It’s also clear that, as with the creationists, my wondrous knowledge is in no way responsible for the deterioration of education or knowledge, or America’s losing its edge in science, technology, etc.

Now I wonder how long it will be before I’m awarded a Nobel Prize.

— Allan Vrasich, Watauga

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Now, even though I must say the above writer's Blueberry Muffin Truth seems more believeable than the Intelligent Design Theory, I will admit that at times I think maybe the Cretinists have it right. Like how do you explain the fascination the masses have with football and today's absolute religious holiday level of celebrating of the Super Bowl?

Yesterday I went to get supplies for my annual Super Bowl Party. Yes, I admit I am a fellow Cretinist when it comes to the Super Bowl, but I don't actually watch the game, I watch the commercials and the half time show, not wanting to miss a potential civilization destroying moment of extreme tackiness.

So, I went to 3 stores to get my supplies, Market Street, Sprouts and Super Wal-Mart. Each was throbbing with a Christmas Eve level of madness with people in a frenzy buying their Super Bowl Party supplies. Sprouts had run out of cilantro. Which is what forced the stop at Wal-Mart. A stop I'd hoped not to have to make because I was up in the nice part of the D/FW Metroplex where there are good grocery stores. But, because I was up in the nice part of the D/FW Metroplex and not in the, well, ghetto, where I live, the Super Wal-Mart was quite nice with polished floors and plasma tvs overhead and price check devices that actually worked and no cops guarding the entrance or working girls walking the aisles.

Before I hit the publish button I must go back to religion and mention the Eye of God. That is the image you see above. It was taken by the Hubble Telescope. It is being thrown around the Internet with some believing it depicts God's Eye and thus proves He is watching us and you better be good or you won't get any Christmas presents and your special team won't win the Super Bowl.

But, what it actually depicts is the so-called Helix Nebula, which astronomers claim is "a trillion-mile-long tunnel of glowing gases." At its center is a dying star which has ejected masses of dust and gas to form tentacle-like filaments stretching toward an outer rim composed of the same material. Our own sun may look like this in a few billion years.

While I wait for that to happen it is time to start my Super Bowl Party preparations.